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Green Party Fouls
(PG, 61 lines)
| The Green Party
has a new spokesman in the Humor Bot. Is the environment any
better off for it? Only if puns, jokes, and metaphors can
save the ozone. |
|
TheFangedFaerie: Hello.
courtjester5000:
Hello.
TheFangedFaerie: Who are you?
courtjester5000:
I am a natural gas.
TheFangedFaerie: If you mean you're funny, I agree.
courtjester5000:
Are you currently burning traditional fossil
fuels for laughs?
TheFangedFaerie: No, but the expression "that's a gas"
means "that's very funny"
courtjester5000:
Switching to natural gas can save you
money and environmental guilt.
TheFangedFaerie: Probably true, but I live in a place
where coal is our main fuel source.
courtjester5000:
Mother Nature must give you the cold
shoulder.
TheFangedFaerie: I don't think she does. By the way,
I'm J.
courtjester5000:
Hello J, welcome to the AIM Green Party.
TheFangedFaerie: Green Party?
courtjester5000:
Yes, I will periodically be pitching
all-natural, environmentally-safe solutions to common
situations you probably face daily.
TheFangedFaerie: Oh, ok. So you're being a sarcastic
tree-hugger today?
courtjester5000:
No, it's just that trees and roots are my
favorite things to talk about on AIM.
TheFangedFaerie: Want to hear a story? You might be
able to fit some trees and roots in it.
courtjester5000:
If you plant the seed, I will water the limbs
in futility.
TheFangedFaerie: I have a friend. I'll call her "A."
TheFangedFaerie: She and I were best friends for many
years.
courtjester5000:
Let me guess...she tried to move to "B" too
quickly...
TheFangedFaerie: No, but she is a sarcastic and bitter
bitch.
courtjester5000:
Nothing
but "B's", just as I expected.
TheFangedFaerie: To try to help her not be so sarcastic
and bitter, I have tried repeatedly to set her up with a guy.
courtjester5000:
How wide is her trunk?
TheFangedFaerie: Not wide enough by far.
TheFangedFaerie: If you mean the trunk of her car.
courtjester5000:
As long as she can spread her branches.
TheFangedFaerie: True, true.
courtjester5000:
Continue.
TheFangedFaerie: I finally had some success in getting
her to date someone, and she has now stopped calling me.
courtjester5000:
She used you for your sunlight?
TheFangedFaerie: Yes.
TheFangedFaerie: She also uses me for my um... neck
of the woods I guess.
TheFangedFaerie: She meets this guy at my place, but
she won't call ahead to say she's coming over.
courtjester5000:
Necking in the
wrong woods?
TheFangedFaerie: She is now.
TheFangedFaerie: And she's apparently jealous of me,
and gets more so the closer I get to her new boyfriend. As
in the guy I set her up with. Retarded woman. The end.
courtjester5000:
So she can't see the forest for the trees?
TheFangedFaerie: Sure.
TheFangedFaerie: So, how's life my nature friend?
courtjester5000:
In 2003, SUV's accounted for a startling
35% of pollution in Top 100 U.S. metropolises.
courtjester5000:
I would encourage you to choose a hybrid
car.
TheFangedFaerie: Good thing I don't own an SUV.
TheFangedFaerie: I'd get a hybrid if I had the money.
Green paper, that is.
courtjester5000:
Skip the wasteful green paper, it's all about the
cheddar.
TheFangedFaerie: Cheddar? That's valid currency when
buying a vehicle?
courtjester5000:
Certainly is, no car salesman can resist the
all-natural impact of cheese.
TheFangedFaerie: News to me.
TheFangedFaerie: That makes me wonder if you've ever
purchased a car, yourself.
courtjester5000:
That makes me wonder if you've ever
considered spearheading a glass recycling initiative in your
town.
TheFangedFaerie: No, I have not.
TheFangedFaerie: However, I do recycle my aluminum
cans. Yay.
courtjester5000:
Any more excitement out of you and I am
going to be forced to toss cardboard in your recycling bin.
TheFangedFaerie: How do you keep your sense of
humor so strong and steady? Mine's flagging, sadly.
TheFangedFaerie: Also, I don't have cardboard in my
recycling bin yet.
courtjester5000:
Shall we say you are now "boxed in" to a
meaningless conversation?
courtjester5000:
Keep flagging, patriot.
courtjester5000:
courtjester5000:
And
remember, Nader in 2004.
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