We’ll Tell You How These Women’s Lives Turned Out Based on the Winter Coat They Wore in 6th Grade
Leather Jacket – Doesn’t believe in monogamy but has lived with one boyfriend for six years; sleeps with phone on the bed, it has its own pillow.
Tag: Women
Are You Truly Ready to Ascend to Housecoat Level?
We speak here of the dowdy. The cotton-poly blend. The bland pastel floral with faux-pearl snaps. Armor worn by everyone from Nanas to Meemaws.
We’re Your Bras and We Know You’ll Come Back
For unmentionables, you sure talk about us a lot. You’ve got boobs on the brain, and that’s why we’re not worried. We know you’ll come back.
I’m Your Random Chin Hair, and I’m Pleading for My Life
Since I showed up, did I bother you? Now suddenly, because you look into a magnifying mirror for the first time in months, I'm a problem?
Veiled Muslim Woman or Woman Wearing a Face Mask During a Pandemic?
Unsure if fogless sunglasses are a thing. / Expects to walk past a construction site without being catcalled.
The Comedic Male Genius’ Guide to Literary Humor for Lady Writers
And then it hit me: if Jessica is begging for my wisdom, there must be dozens of other hot girl writers who are crying out for my help, too.
How to Properly Dispose of a Worn or Damaged Barstool Sports Flag
If you spilled Narragansett on the flag upon learning the Joker wasn’t from New England or you ripped the flag when you heard Barstool writers were unionizing.
Is It My Zit or My Clit?
4. I was obsessed with it during puberty but more or less have it figured it out now. 7. I only feel comfortable with certain people seeing it.
Beauty Products for the Makeover You So Desperately Need
Our "Purge Ultime" Face & Body Scrub will also eliminate the general feeling of shame that has accompanied your existence since puberty.
9 Things to Tell Daughters They Can Be Without Going to Hell for Lying
A struggling WNBA player - Of course, your daughter can absolutely be the best point guard in the WNBA! / Probably bisexual - Give her to age 25.
You’ve Awakened an Ancient Evil, and Now It’s Aggressively Selling Empowerment to New Moms
"A badass mama protects her child! Your belly will be full of pilates-toned gristle and blond hair after you’ve mauled Cassie from your mom group."
A Tale of Two Sisters with the Same Damn Taste in Men
Some evil Freudian wiring has kept my sister and I at the mercy of the same celebrities and, even worse, absolute hunks in our daily lives.