The Seedy, Sexy Underbelly of Twitter
It was Christmas Eve on Twitter when I tweeted, "I drink Starbucks coffee because when you're single, you forget the taste of butthole." And I immediately attracted the attention of one man.
Tag: Tech
Match.com: Another Satisfied Customer
<p>I joined Match.com because I had no other options. My mail-order-bride, Sveta, found a legal loophole and was able to return to her native homeland of Russia, citing my "inability to perform," which is quite ridiculous because I majored in theater at Oxford School of Drama so like I don't even get what she's talking about.</p><p>Lewis Donahue. </p>
On the Mass Appeal of Nipples, Match.com, and Prostate Exams
Society subscribes to a weird set of rules, and how we interpret them is even weirder. For example, why is the nipple what censorship uses as the limit for upper-torso nudity?
iSorry, But Steve Jobs was a Dick
What Steve Jobs did was create an army of narcissistic, self-centered, self-absorbed, zombie clones by sucking their very souls into his world like Shang Tsung.
The Stages of Facebook Withdrawal
They say the first step to recovery is the admission of a problem. Well here it is, and here I am: I am addicted to Facebook. The following are the insurmountable consequences of trying to quit.
FriendsFirst.com Platonic Customer Satisfaction Survey
FriendsFirst.com, the dating website where you're taking it easy and seeing where it goes, wants to know about your online experience. Your Friends aren't making any moves, are they?
The Royal Wedding: There’s an App for That
An app so royal it makes you feel like you're wearing nothing but a gold crown and a robe while hate fucking William the Conqueror in Piccadilly Circus and drinking a cup of Earl Grey.
Stop Posting About Your Kids on Facebook, Part 2
After Part 1, I still have several Facebook "friends" left that I'd like to alienate, so I will make my point again by ripping apart more annoying posts about kids I've seen recently.
Dear Match.com, You Could Use a Guy Like Me
Dear Match.com, I think it's time I join your piece of shit website. I was put on this planet to change your ugly member stereotype forever, which is why I'm requesting a free membership.
Which Annoyingly Inappropriate Facebook Quiz-Taker are You?
Even worse than pointless status updates are ridiculous quizzes. Stop spending your Saturday nights trying to find out "What's Your Sexual Style."
Charlie & Luther Review the Oscar Nominees: “The Social Network”
What makes The Social Network work so well is the fact that the movie is completely devoid of fat. The characters speak with great energy and Trent Reznor's soundtrack drives the film forward with a stressful frenzy.
Stop Posting About Your Kids on Facebook
I don't have any children that I know of, and I obviously don't understand the fraternity of parenthood, but come on, nobody wants to hear about your kids on Facebook.