Clark Kent, We Have Updated Your Ancestry DNA Results!
Our new, improved algorithm now reports that you are: 99.9% not of the human genome <1% Pacific Islander
Our new, improved algorithm now reports that you are: 99.9% not of the human genome <1% Pacific Islander
“Vegan! Give us ze classified recipes and ve vill let you live!” The Vegan’s former best friend-turned-nemesis, General Draganov, shouts.
Before Lex Luthor’s hedge fund bought us out and we started reporting only by telephone, I loved running to crime scenes.
Every block was a rich symphony of hustlers, pushers, junkies, johns and tiny, sinister men dressed as penguins. Truly, Gotham City had it all.
You have family wealth and a car that turns into a plane, whereas I am $73,000 in debt with a degree in Applied Puzzles from Gotham University.
Unfortunately, I do have to make a living. As it turns out, the only subject I’m really educated on—beyond punching things—is a dying industry.
Widely considered the apex of the Spider-Man films, the first sequel is also significant because its release coincided with the passing of my second kidney stone.
- You become astonishingly strong when angry. - You can destroy an entire house in seconds.
The Human Flashlight She’ll find those evil villains hiding in the dark, oh yes, she will. (Unless she’s recharging at home, of course.)
All that changed when a (unnamed for legal purposes) billionaire “superhero” with no powers showed up and asked me to join his superhero team.
We would like to apologize to some of our team members for leaving them off our initial list: Kyle in shipping, our office temp Brayden, and Aquaman.
Gotham's oldest enemy? Health and safety code. How do people keep falling into pits of bubbly wubbly goo?