Satire | Page 93 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

I also can’t seem to remember anything after the second act, which my therapist says is my brain’s way of protecting itself.

Good News: He has a graduate degree. Bad News: It's an MFA.

Uranus: It’s a planet, but you don’t have to mention every last one. Say, “Earth, Jupiter, Saturn, Venus, Neptune, Mercury, Mars, and so on.”

"I agree": How humiliating to spill coffee on your crotch. I know, right? I’m going to pretend I don’t see it.

Before you roll your eyes, remember, I am optional. If you want to half-ass this job application, don't say I didn't give you the opportunity.

Did Grandpa really like me the most out of all the grandchildren, and even more than some of his own kids?

And let us not forget the original cause of the riot: a double-necked guitar-off.

Pours some liquid into some test tubes, gets their big science-y machine going, and boom. He made me. This human/frog hybrid “monster.”

I’ve got my iPhone ready to snap the most insane pictures of my kids, holding a blackboard with facts scrawled in elaborate chalk calligraphy.

I’m a different breed altogether. How will you catch a man who does his own research?

And no matter what you, other teachers, or the PTA may say, this has nothing to do with my film's complete rejection from festivals nationwide.

#121: Don't bother. I found a tombstone with your name on it that said, "they died doing what they loved: poking rattlesnakes with a stick."