Satire | Page 35 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

Worried I might embark on a border-spanning bloody warpath? You think I have that many air miles saved up?

I’ve delayed trains for hours at a time just to let couples wet each other’s face holes before departure.

While threats from Panini Whore and other provocatively-named franchises in the region are growing, the Burger Slut position remains strong.

Everybody knows that Paris and accordion music go together like baguettes and butter, cheese and wine, waiters and rudeness.

The Owner of My Once-Beloved Bodega: He’ll call her Boss in the same velvety tone that once stilled my heart.

For one of the times when I said exhale, I meant inhale. I did not mean to instruct you to do double exhales.

The most important qualities a man can have are leadership, integrity, and enough forearm strength to pull himself over an 8-foot ledge.

It can be hard to believe that he won’t be coming back with another flaccid diss track full of trash punchlines.

For a small fee and a variable surcharge, I will shower your fragile ego with the praise it doesn’t, and will likely never, deserve.

You ever notice how in Los Angeles the dirt is a brownish-red color, but in New York it’s a reddish-brown color?

No glass bottles. No breaking glass bottles. No threatening Duck Race volunteers with broken glass bottles.

It blows my mind that we used to be one country, isn’t that wild? But enough about me. Tell me what have you been up to?