Mark Zuckerberg Introduces Facebook Bona Fide for $8/Month
For just $8/month, Facebook Bona Fide will allow users in the six travel-banned countries to make up to 12 Bona Fide friend requests each month to users in the US.
Tag: Satire
Feelin’ the Burn! I Tried Carrie Underwood’s New Leg Workout and My Father is Still Dead
I can see the results in the tone of my legs, and the guilt of being 100% responsible for the pontoon boat accident that took my father's life is now an easier cross to bear.
Revealing Excerpts From Winnie the Pooh’s Diary
June 17: Eeyore finally offed himself. We all knew it was coming, and what did we do? Did nothing, sed nothing. I shood have been a better friend. I shood have been there fore him.
When I Need to Handle International Crises, I Stay in a Lovely Trump Hotel
Mar-a-Lago, Trump Tower in New York, Trump Tower in Chicago, all safely outside the war zone. Every single direction, up, down, I built them all.
How I Became Woke AF By Spending 6 Months Meaning to See Moonlight
For months, when my less-woke family and friends talk about movies, I proudly declare that I've been meaning to see Moonlight and actually want to see it really badly.
The Bachelor: Press Secretary Edition
Newt Gingrich: [Cupping Donald Trump's tear-stained face in his hands] You owe it to yourself to move on from Spicer. He hurt you. It’s time to find your next true love, Mr. President.
A Field Guide to the Flowers of Fart Town
The fifth graders got their way with the mayor, and it was a sad day to see the "Welcome to Cherry Hill" sign knocked down in favor of one that reads "Fart Town. Population: P.U."
The Art of Head Faking Your Boss
With boss man bearing down on you, tilt your head to the left. His head will follow yours. Wait ten seconds. Hold the tilt like you would an ice cream cone.
I’m the “Him” From the “Trainers HATE Him” Ads, and I’m Sorry
I must confess: I'm the "him" that personal trainers hate from all those ads. I stumbled upon a simple trick to cruise past weightlifting plateaus and gain 42 pounds of muscle in just one month.
I Draw Him Naked First, To Preserve His Purity (By Dilbert Creator Scott Adams)
Before my pen even outlines his dirty, filthy Dilbert clothing, I draw the Dilbert naked first. To preserve his essence. To preserve his purity.
If I Was as Good at Writing Query Letters as I Am Picking Up Chicks at a Bar
I know you have people knocking down your door to have you read stuff. That's why I propose the opposite: I want to read my book to you. Would you like that, Susan?
Can You Identify Which Artist Named Drake Left This Tour Rider Behind?
In order to respect the artist's privacy, I can't disclose his/her name. However, I can describe in detail the piece of paper I found outlining their tour requests.