I know you have people knocking down your door to have you read stuff. That's why I propose the opposite: I want to read my book to you. Would you like that, Susan?
Sean Spicer's job as White House Press Secretary relies heavily on his ratings, so I've come up with a few ideas to ensure that he has an amazing second season.
Come, ye lost soul. If you keep yelling for us to “Move in,” I'm positive a black hole will spontaneously erupt right above our heads.