Satire | Page 247 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

What if I get a new pair and instead of being bitchin’ as hell, they are just bitchin’? Or worse: not bitchin’ at all.

I have reduced stress by limiting my mental breakdown to three times a week. You would never guess that I've stress vomited in every campus bathroom!

I’m so glad to get this off my shell. It’s been a weight no snail should have to bear.

I’d be willing to bet it takes dozens of muscles in the arms, legs, and torso to lift this soda machine off of my shattered body.

*UNSUBSCRIBE* Have you ever tried yoga? *UNSUBSCRIBE* Do you think you might have high blood pressure?

Honestly? I should get the Peace Prize. I started this friendship, but whatever, no one seems to care and Donny will take credit, yet again.

Is blockchain when you’re constipated because you ate too many quarters? Is blockchain a European architectural trend?

The question is not what you look at, but what you see; and not just what you see, but what is on your Netflix “Recently Watched” list.

Embassies, so complicated. So complex, I would say. Where do they go, who works there, what country are they technically in?

Your caterwauling rendition of “Another One Bites the Dust” did not qualify as entertainment. The accompanying “moonwalk” was spectacularly dreadful.

Talk Like Lions and Sacrifice Like Lambs. Things get a little wild in Round Here Land’s animatronic-powered “Frontier Country”!

Have fun cooking on your one-burner stove. I’m spit-roasting an entire side of beef that’s been marinating for 3 weeks in Cab Sav.