What to Do if the Little Drummer Boy Shows Up at Your Local Maternity Ward
It's confusing that this boy thinks a drum solo is an appropriate gift for anyone---let alone an infant. That’s what makes him so dangerous.
Tag: Satire
Santa Claus Is Coming to Town– Oh God, Hide the Cookies! He’s Here!
Billy, look at your mother! Tell me you hid the Milanos with Dark Chocolate Filling! Oh, my child... How could you?
The First Baptist Church Christmas Eve Service 2019, Presented by Verizon Wireless
Believers, tonight I bring you good news of unlimited talk and text to the Creator of the universe, powered by America’s best 5G network.
How the Grinch Almost Stole the Christmas Shopping Season
Did signal his phone screen had fallen and cracked And thus with a shudder, he swallowed his pride And off to the Whovilleplex Mall did he ride
The Grinch Shouldn’t Be Prosecuted in the Court of Public Opinion
In Who-ville, critical thinking is not valued as a trait. No, rumor and hearsay are given far more weight.
I Demand You Take My Son off the Naughty List, Santa!
It pains me to think that the childhood I’ve carefully constructed for Trevin could come crashing down, all due to the ramifications of your bullying.
Santa, Please Turn All My Useless Christmas Presents into Gift Cards without My Loved Ones Noticing
My mom mailed me back my matching pajama set with a note, “Don’t bother wearing our family Christmas pajamas unless you ask for something fun."
I Caught My Husband Crying While Cutting Onions. That’s Why I’m Leaving Him
The man who I had married, the man who I’d seen get into a shoving match with a JV baseball coach, had become something unrecognizable.
Does This Crippling Existential Dread Make Me Look Fat?
This thing we call "life" is really just a painfully drawn out, cosmic joke. And I can’t tell if that’s what’s causing the bulge around my waistline.
The Church Announces Changes to Try and Get Young People to Attend Mass
To help bring in the younger audience, the flock is now allowed to respond to “The Lord be with you” with “OK boomer.”
Dear Families That Share Holiday Letters
I noticed that you already posted those vacation photos online, but the evidence of just how wealthy your family is magneted to my fridge is a treat!
This Year’s Agency Holiday Party Theme: Transparency!
We’ve got a bunch of food, drinks, and activities lined up that will shed an honest light on a lot of stuff you actually probably suspected already.