Warrior: I Voted in a Middle School Gym During a 6th Grade Basketball Game
I took an “I Voted” sticker and slapped it on. The anti-participation trophy faction in the stands booed this profusely.
Tag: Satire
Why I Like the Taste of Billionaire Boots
I have to defend the rich, so that in a theoretical future where I become ultra-wealthy, I can benefit the same way they do now.
The Fundraising Bots Are Planning a Heist
George Clooney here, I’m reaching out as a supporter of the Democratic party. Your time is valuable, so I’ll be blunt. We’re going to rob a casino.
Un-Pimp My Ride
You programmed the screens to only play "The Fast and the Furious"—my favorite movie... in 2006.
You Thought I Was Just Some Dad, Until I Did One Bad Pull-Up on These Monkey Bars
Now you’re thinking, “Wait, is that kid’s sexy childless uncle visiting from somewhere cool like Denmark?”
Guidelines for Attending (and Winning) the Opera
To follow the opera’s story, you don’t need to be fluent in Italian, German, or hieroglyphics.
My Halloween Costume Is Just Regular Clothes, but I Expect You to Guess What I Am
Fine, I’ll give you a hint: It’s a fictional human character from film, TV, video games, literature, or social media of the past 100 years.
Updated Professional Wrestling Gimmicks for the Gig Economy
The renowned Etsy enamel button maker takes on his evil counterpart, the mysterious masked man known as the Deviant Artist.
An NYT/Washington Post Fact Check of Laffy Taffy Jokes
The Claim: What did you call a pile of cats? (a Meowtain) Our Rating: FALSE. A group of cats is called a Clowder.
You’re Caught in a Bear Trap? I’m Not Falling for That Again
“I am caught in this bear trap and I’m in grave danger” is one of the oldest tricks in the book. Tight up there with “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”
Whoops, Must Have Laughed Out Loud in This Busy Cafe at Something I Just Wrote
Obviously, nobody wants to hear the funny thing I wrote, right? I know you’re all staring at me, since my laugh set off the smoke alarms.
Dispatches from My Dad’s Visit to a Civil War Battlefield
Just glancing at this green expanse makes me burst with joy. It is the same feeling I had on my wedding day, and on the day you were born.