My own spider (Cecil) was like the son I never had. Actually, I have a human son, but he's been quite a disappointment to me.
You started to leave my cap off, like it was no big deal.
Here they come—the very few remaining loved ones that will still attend this charade. There’s Grandpa Ernie, wearing his pajamas.
- Which do you love more: me or your idea of me? - Would you still love me if I were replaced, piece by piece, until nothing of my original self was left?
Your Date reserves the right to describe your physical shortcomings, erroneous grammar, ill-chosen wardrobe, and sub-par erotic technique in detail.
10 Ways My New Relationship Is Nothing Like the Ryan Lochte Gas Station Scandal of the 2016 Rio De Janeiro Olympics
I’ve never lied about being robbed at gunpoint to avoid admitting to pissing in some bushes outside of a western Rio de Janeiro gas station.
But if we were to bring about authentic disruption and long-lasting change, we needed to diversify our core team.
This person is definitely not your boyfriend or girlfriend or someone you even like very much. How do you define these short-term relationships?
Haven't done much birdwatching lately. Birdfeeder full of bird shit. Ex-wife and Rick going strong.
If you’re out-of-your-mind blackout wasted, prefrontal cortex operating at 0% capacity, contacting your ex is a fine way to direct your endorphins.
One credit card point can be worth 1.3 to 1.7 cents. I tried explaining this to my wife, but she was on a work call and I don’t think she really took it in.
A common bedroom reno tip is to take a fancy trash can—like that gaudy, twisting, fuchsia disaster that Rachel bought—and flip it upside-down.