Survey: How Do You Feel About Being Black?
"For a long time, I didn't care. But now it's been six years since my last promotion, and that has me thinking." —Zachary Easton, Coder
Tag: Race
Loophole: The Exciting New Card Game That Bends the Rules to Get You to Heaven Faster
Putting yourself into extremely dangerous situations isn't a sin. If you survive, your life is more exciting, but if you die, Jesus will be waiting.
If You Can’t Beat Rainbow Road in Mario Kart, Don’t Bother Texting Me Back
And I don't want to keep harping on the past, but there were a few times when you couldn’t even finish the race. It's embarrassing.
Cap’n Crunch and Tony the Tiger Are Still Fighting About the National Anthem Kneelings and It’s Ruining My Mornings
“You see what you did?” Cap’n Crunch said, frowning at Tony, “You just had to roar. Whatever happened to civility in this country?”
This Whole Flood Thing Sounds Pretty Bogus
It rains all the time and sometimes floods, but it’s never awful, so it wouldn’t surprise me if our Heavenly Father said this purely to make a fuss.
A Line-By-Line Translation of a White Politician’s Spanish
Candidate: (unintelligible) Translation: Probably a profession of love for taco bowls?
You Are Warmly Invited to Our Family Reuni(ficati)on Celebration
Keep in mind: we have a "zero-tolerance policy" on tardiness!
Aesop’s Fables, Updated for a Capitalist World
Thinking he'd overtaken the tortoise in the race, the hare took a nap under a tree. He was right to sleep, given his Adidas UltraBoost running shoes.
I Am Your City Council Representative, and Your Concerns Matter to Me
As an upstanding member of this community, I hope you’ll believe me that I am, definitively, a human flesh man, and not any kind of insect homunculus.
Other New Policies Recently Approved By NFL Owners
Players who take, like, 20 napkins and then use, like, just two napkins and throw away the other 18 will be ejected from the game.
Dear Honorable Lord Hiring Manager, With Love and Respect
I have reduced stress by limiting my mental breakdown to three times a week. You would never guess that I've stress vomited in every campus bathroom!
Some Plausible Reasons Why Scott Pruitt Might Hate Nature So Much
He's always asleep during both sunrise and sunset, so he's never seen one before. Doesn't get what the big deal is.