Romeo and Juliet Respond to an Apartment Listing
Is there a balcony where I can easily repledge my devotion to my true love? There simply must be a balcony.
Is there a balcony where I can easily repledge my devotion to my true love? There simply must be a balcony.
The small remote controls the volume and the tall remote controls the channels. We think that one is under the sink.
Of course it was beyond disturbing to me, especially at work, as there were litter boxes in all the conference rooms. And nobody seemed to mind.
Don’t hesitate. If you see an apartment you like, grab a demon’s pitchfork, stab it in your thigh, and sign in blood immediately.
Waist up. Open-neck shirt, light blue. Body angled but just barely, so the viewer wonders, "Is his body angled or not?" One hand across waist.
This residency is fully funded and exists in an alternate universe where the words fully funded do not mean we give you funds.
He has a visible tattoo of Tim Allen playing billiards with Tim Allen. (The second Tim Allen had red glowing eyes. He kept calling him “Dark Tim.”)
Redoing my will tomorrow. I may need your social security number. Don’t text it! / I just watched Get Out. Excellent.
Just a short walk to the train: The nearest subway stop is a mile away and trains don’t stop there on weekends.
I'm using my little green thumb to turn up the thermostat and the humidifier at the same time. Now I'm using both hands.
Wrap yourself from the neck down in Saran Wrap, and then ask a friend to spray lukewarm water between you and the plastic with a garden hose.
I caught him watching old episodes of Scooby-Doo and scribbling in a notebook. He was mumbling things like, “Oooh, that’s a good one to plagiarize.”