FAQ: Your Rescue Monster
When you adopt from Frankenstein’s, you can rest assured your Rescue Monster has received the highest quality of care.
When you adopt from Frankenstein’s, you can rest assured your Rescue Monster has received the highest quality of care.
Are you embarrassed that I called you out, and now suffer from some sort of movie monster performance anxiety?
The big bag is a safer purchase. Now it won’t be the end of the world if I have one. I’d hate to disappoint the kids two years in a row.
It’s a zero-sum game out there. Every piece of candy you don’t get goes into the gaping, cavity-filled maw of some other kid.
Admire the local artisanship on display, particularly the humanoid stick figures bound in twine looming overhead in the trees.
MINDLESS EATING MACHINES, TO STRIKE TERROR INTO THE HEARTS OF MEN. FOR MAN IS THE WARMEST PLACE TO HIDE. For $2 more the pizzas come with extra cheese.
A handful of those tri-colored diabetic nightmares leave me physically ill with my head pulsing in pain. And guess what? I’m into it.
I'm looking forward to when boob sweat makes its annual migration toward those hapless people in the southern hemisphere.
May: The Memento effect begins to set in as the temperature starts to go up. You start to hear people say things like "Winter wasn’t even that bad."
Do you know what it’s like for me when you’re out haunting someone else? It’s quiet. No branches scraping the windows, no creaking floorboards.
Dog: Thanksgiving took a while to understand, but I’ve got it now. It starts when you’re locked outside because no one can deal with you today.
Candy Corn --- I may look like I’m relatively young, but I’m actually a centenarian trapped inside a younger body.