How to Score Drugs in 7 Easy Steps
One question people regularly ask me is, "What drugs are you on, and where can I get some?" Here are some sweeping generalizations to help get you high ASAP.
Tag: Guides
5 Reasons Why Your Parents Raised a Pussy
In an attempt to shield you from pedophiles, AIDS, and sun rays, your parents deprived you of the opportunity to experience rejection, exhaustion, and bullies.
7 Things You Should Know Before You Graduate from College
The good news is, most of what you learn in school will not help you in life. No matter how thrilling you may find academics, it simply won't help you in the long run.
10 Less-Popular Relaxation Soundscapes
Sure, most people find birds chirping and rain falling to be relaxing, but what about the whackos who prefer more unusual background sounds like Jenga blocks falling?
How Anilingus Can Cure the Obesity Epidemic
When there is a distinct possibility that you are going to have your ass licked later in the day, you become a lot more conscience of what you eat.
A Teacher’s Guide to Shooting Students
Many states now allow teachers to bring guns to school, which is a BIG change for most teachers, many of whom will have never shot a child at all!
Batman & Robin Debate Comic Con’s Top 10 Moments
The dynamic duo of entertainment reporters discuss the five-hour line-ups, over-priced merchandise, and 400-pound men dressed as characters from My Little Pony.
A Financial Approach to Having Sex as Quickly as Possible
It's not sex itself that's such a waste of precious moneymaking hours; rather, it's the way we do sex. Here are some helpful techniques to streamline the sexual process.
The 5 Most Notorious Sufferers of George R. R. Martin Syndrome
George R. R. Martin is best known for his A Song of Ice and Fire. Instead, he's much better known for the amount of procrastination he takes between each of his novels.
10 MORE Expressions That Really Piss Me Off
"When things get hard...just put one foot in front of the other." I should probably inform you that I followed this advice when I had sex with your girlfriend last week.
The Ten Commandments of Social Media Status Updates
#3: Thou Shalt Disguise Narcissism with Humility. This means learning to effectively implement the "humble brag." If you can't do that, just boast instead, whatever.
I Believe This Book You Lent Me Has Spent Considerable Time in Your Bathroom
I didn't want to believe it. "I've known him for years," I thought. "Why would he do this to me?" And then I opened up to page 45 and saw the pubic hair.