How to Spam My Friends After You’ve Hacked My Email
I can imagine the skill it takes to hack an email account, so I know you're smart. You got this far, why not market your shady products more effectively?
Tag: Guides
How NOT to Buy a Lottery Ticket at a Convenience Store
Alas, most of you are morons. Therefore, I have compiled a list of things you should know not to do before you buy a lottery ticket at the convenience store where I work.
6 Shitty Jobs You Really Did in the Navy
In commercials you see sailors doing all kinds of awesome shit. In real life, you do a bunch of jobs so shitty you can't believe how naïve you must have been to enlist.
10 Literary Rejection Letters to Famous Dead Authors
Good thing great authors aren't alive today. Here are 10 rejection letters they likely would have received in our current, dismal literary market.
A Tourist’s Guide to the Afterlife
After my wildly successful lecture series, "Where The Hell Am I? A MapQuest For The Afterlife," people had a lot more questions about Heaven. Here's my travel guide!
An Alpha Male’s Guide to Being a Man
When at a party, stare distantly into the wind and say "I loved a woman, once" while sporting a visible erection to increase the manly perception from those around you.
7 Secrets for Passing a Teaching Interview
We all know that going to a job interview can be very intimidating. Especially if you are a teacher. Since I've been there already, here are 7 successful strategies.
Hell’s Playlist: 23 Classic Hits Ruined by Repetition, Part 2
For weeks on end I endured my boss's hellish radio station, with the most narrow-minded playlist of the same fifty or so recycled "super gold hits" on endless rotation.
Hell’s Playlist: 23 Classic Hits Ruined by Repetition
For weeks on end I endured my boss's hellish radio station, with the most narrow-minded playlist of the same fifty or so recycled "super gold hits" on endless rotation.
A Man’s Guide to Surviving Heartbreak
Ten guidelines for all the young men out there who are struggling to find a reason to live after losing the women of their dreams. Keep your head up, you tragic cases.
Dear Craigslist, I’m the Missed Connection
While browsing the craigslist "Missed Connections" section, I realized that I am the person pretty much all these people are missing so hard it makes Viagra jealous.
How to Convince People to Join Your Political Party, Through Home Decoration
How to decorate your home to convince everyone at your next (dinner) party to subscribe to the beliefs of whichever political party you choose.