My Kid Took Karate Lessons and Now I’m Scared of Him
He’s always asked me to watch his new “moves” even before karate classes, but now I can’t help but feel like this display is meant to assert dominance.
Tag: Fights
Email from Invading Aliens Accidentally Sent to My Inbox
We parked our vehicle in several spots over the two-week period. No matter which spot we occupied, a human would tell us we were in “their spot.”
How to Get Your Son to Stop Cockfighting, While Still Being the Cool Dad
I’d become what’s known as "The Cool Dad" among David’s friends, and I was worried that coming off as anti-cockfighting would harm that reputation.
I’m Not Afraid to Fight You
You think I won't beat you up? Just watch me! Please, don't fight back. Just watch me beat you up.
Welcome to the Ultimate Fighting Championship—But First, a Word from Our Sponsor, Toyo Tires
Champs count on the only tire to receive MMA Magazine’s “Most Ultimate Tire” one year in a row.
I’m Not the Chosen One You Need or Want
My astrology app once said that I was destined for greatness, but I thought that meant a diet tea sponsorship on Instagram or a successful Etsy shop.
Have I Ever Been to Paris?
In Paris, we cry. In Paris we drink too much and enter the wrong apartment, accidentally sleeping in the wrong bed. That’s Paris.
Sign Up for My Karate School Correspondence Class
We’re not doing this online, it’s too easy, too predictable (plus I’m not allowed to get online for 18 more months, minimum).
Leadership Wants You to Know, Fight Club Is Taking the Coronavirus Seriously
If someone says “stop,” goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. If someone coughs, has shortness of breath, or has a fever, the fight does not begin.
United States Presidents vs. Swamp Rabbits
In 1903, Theodore Roosevelt announces an open boxing challenge to any willing swamp rabbit. In 1911, William Howard Taft eats a swamp rabbit.
Please, I Just Want to Have a Normal Martial Arts Tournament
The Four Wings tournament is in no way, shape, or form, “to the death.” I really don’t know how people keep getting that impression.
13 Things I, a 33-Year-Old Man with Zero Interest in Football, Find More Exciting to Watch at a Super Bowl Party Than the Game
Janice and Mark’s whisper-fights about their upcoming incomplete wedding plans. They’ve been engaged for 7 years now.