NRA Talking Points For Kids
First, you come for my toy guns. What’s next? Marshmallow shooters, finger guns, fingers themselves?! After you already got my nose? Never again!
Tag: Fights
Don’t Expect Many Characters to Survive “Mamma Mia! 2: Infinity Wedding”
Sophie was able to hold one of the Infinity Rings--wedding rings forged from the six singularities present before the creation of the universe.
God Tries to Figure Out the Plot Holes in the Bible
[God's pen is paused above the passage where Noah gets all fat and is lying drunk in a tent after surviving the flood.] ANGEL: Water balloon fight?
Weighing All of LeBron James’ Possible Moves
Washington: By successfully recruiting James, the Washington Generals could finally have a shot at taking down those damn Harlem Globetrotters.
Paul Klee’s Childhood Diaries
Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo. What sorcery is this? Only a demon could so affect the utter destruction and recreation of his countenance at will.
The Streaming Services Argue About What to Watch on Basic Cable
Hulu: Ohhh, let me guess, you want to watch something with a Strong Female Lead? Netflix: Honestly, that one gets over-cited.
The Thunder in Paradise: Poems Created From Interviews With Hulk Hogan, Part 2
fast-forward/the perfect storm./America was at conflict with Iran/Iraq/the political situation/between the countries./between good vs. evil.
Six Clues That Your Cats Could Be Using Your House as a Human Fight Club
If a stranger with a black eye winks at you on the street, that’s a surefire giveaway that your cats are pedalling human violence for profit.
I Know, I Know, I’m the Last Roman in the Republic Who Hasn’t Seen the New Gladiator Show
Hark, I get it. Carpophorus is reinventing the very genre of public violence. I just don’t have time to get into the King of Beasts right now, okay?
Even If We Ban Guns, Someone Would Invent a Machine With a Different Name That Does the Same Thing
The liberals, they're wrong, we can't ban guns. Even if we made guns illegal, someone would reinvent guns and just call them something else.
Metro City Gazette: We Cannot Endorse Mike Haggar
We are ashamed to be counted among a population that would laud a man for performing a piledriver on a disabled person. Please step down, Mr. Mayor.
Welcome to Amtrak’s “Quiet Car Chopped All-Stars: Fight Club”
The first rule of Amtrak's "Quiet Car Chopped All-Stars: Fight Club" is: Kindly shut the fuck up about everything. Enjoy bare-knuckle chef combat.