Wanted Dead or Alive: People Who Took Stuff from a Bodega
And I couldn't help but notice the massive collage of wanted photos in front of your fine establishment. I'm here to hunt these bastards down.
And I couldn't help but notice the massive collage of wanted photos in front of your fine establishment. I'm here to hunt these bastards down.
Milk is fucking expensive. Let the cows bring me both my free dairy and the ability to skip the long Sunday checkout lines at the local Target.
“I reckon this town ain’t big enough for The Both of Us, my start-up concept for a novelty cowboy singles bar.”
I’ll tell you this about Carson City, pard: if’n you wanna survive on these wild plains, best thing you can do is subscribe to my newsletter.
Say, what do you reckon they were thinking when they built such an itty-bitty town in the first place?
Like a lonesome cowboy with a leather-wrapped journal, I will compose many a silent email, detailing my woes on the Outlook trail.
I ain't no pushover. Please don’t push me over---I’ve become extremely top-heavy. More so after that last thing I said about not bein’ no pushover.
We accept many forms of currency, including gold bars, silver pesos, and buried treasure, provided it is accompanied by a map.
If you want a salesman who spends all day practicing spitting into a spittoon so it makes a "ping" noise, I’m your guy.
Is there a changing area? I was thinking of wearing my cycling gear for the riding events because of the butt padding—makes my thighs look amazing.
Davy Crockett actually wore his raccoon-skin cap as a functional warning to other raccoons not to climb on his head while he was sleeping.
My girlfriend Mary Lou always told me to stop twirling my mustache and tying her to train tracks, but I never really took it seriously, you know?