Wanted Dead or Alive: People Who Took Stuff from a Bodega
And I couldn't help but notice the massive collage of wanted photos in front of your fine establishment. I'm here to hunt these bastards down.
Tag: Cowboys
Top 10 Reasons I Still Need a Cowboy to Take Me Away in 2024
Milk is fucking expensive. Let the cows bring me both my free dairy and the ability to skip the long Sunday checkout lines at the local Target.
More Common Cowboy Problems
“I reckon this town ain’t big enough for The Both of Us, my start-up concept for a novelty cowboy singles bar.”
You Ain’t from ‘Round These Parts, Are You? Best Subscribe to My Newsletter, Pard
I’ll tell you this about Carson City, pard: if’n you wanna survive on these wild plains, best thing you can do is subscribe to my newsletter.
This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us
Say, what do you reckon they were thinking when they built such an itty-bitty town in the first place?
Reasons I Give My Wife That Being a Desk Jockey Is Just like the Cowboy She’d Prefer
Like a lonesome cowboy with a leather-wrapped journal, I will compose many a silent email, detailing my woes on the Outlook trail.
Well, Stranger, It Seems This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us, on Account of My Torso Mysteriously Growing Larger Every Time I Say the Word “Ain’t”
I ain't no pushover. Please don’t push me over---I’ve become extremely top-heavy. More so after that last thing I said about not bein’ no pushover.
Subscription Boxes of the Wild West
We accept many forms of currency, including gold bars, silver pesos, and buried treasure, provided it is accompanied by a map.
I Am Leaving My Job to Become a Cowboy Following the Success of My Halloween Costume
If you want a salesman who spends all day practicing spitting into a spittoon so it makes a "ping" noise, I’m your guy.
Actually, This IS My First Rodeo
Is there a changing area? I was thinking of wearing my cycling gear for the riding events because of the butt padding—makes my thighs look amazing.
Five Little-Known Facts About Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett actually wore his raccoon-skin cap as a functional warning to other raccoons not to climb on his head while he was sleeping.
How Silent Films Taught Me to Be a Better Lover
My girlfriend Mary Lou always told me to stop twirling my mustache and tying her to train tracks, but I never really took it seriously, you know?