Beach tent: It took you two hours to get a tiny human here. You’ll be lucky if you stay 20 minutes.
Seagulls adorn the scenic sky, but they never get so close that I worry about dodging their droppings or being harassed for a bite of my sandwich.
Now sharks will watch humans eat and breed in real-time. I could easily watch a whole week of this in slickly packaged, one-hour chunks.
The Summer Person is permitted to remark out loud a phrase along the lines of “This town is so quaint” a total of (1) time.
No, the sun does not have any terrestrial healing powers, but it can fry your skin and inflict life-threatening disease.
Pro tip: bring a parasol to reduce the glare on your laptop screen when you’re checking Outlook for five minutes, just one more email, OK babe?
Keith Jeep escapes the forest for the beach, the tables turn as Jean Collins is interviewed live on air, plus tried and true dating advice.
Eastsiders recommend the taco place with a questionable sanitation rating but amazing salsas. Westsiders recommend, “I guess, Sugarfish again?”
May: The Memento effect begins to set in as the temperature starts to go up. You start to hear people say things like "Winter wasn’t even that bad."
Too bad you aren’t welcome there! Argentina’s government, unlike the U.S., actually listens to scientists, so it closed its borders.
While Thinking About: The tropical rainforest of Rhukanrhuka, Bolivia. You'll Be: Swearing at the deli rat that scampered off with your last Funyun.
I am simply part of the gym’s existence, like the water fountain and the ambient hip-hop music piped in through invisible speakers.