Me: I been wondering?
Allan: ‘Bout what?
Me: Skinheads.
Allan: Huh?
Me: Whatever happened to skinheads?
Allan: What do you mean?
Me: They used to be everywhere? racist skinheads, non-racist skinheads, Nazi skinheads? they were always fighting the longhairs and the gang-bangers. I haven't seen a skinhead in like ten years or so.
Allan: So what?
Me: So where'd they go?
Allan: They probably just grew up, like everyone else ten years ago.
Me: How come they weren‘t replaced with new skinheads?
Joe: I think I know.
Me: Well, don't make us beg. What happened to the skinheads?
Joe: In the early nineties, people came to accept the shaved head look, mainly thanks to Michael Jordan. As a result, the signature style of the skinhead was taken from him, and he had to become just another Nazi with a fucked up haircut.
Me: Wow. Thanks Joe. I'm glad we cleared that up.
Allan: You are truly an original, DeGraaf.
Me: Thanks, Allan.
Allan: But so was Hitler.
Me: Danka.
Lila: You didn‘t fuck her, did you?
Me: No.
Lila: Good, because I don't want to hear about any ugly chick you might have fucked. You can point out the hot ones, though.
Me: Umm? I have a better idea. How about I just don't point out any of the girls I've fucked?
Lila: You can do that, too. But I kind of want to meet the hot ones.
Me: So you can what? Compare notes?
Lila: Something like that.
Me: Something like no way in hell is more like it.
Lila: Spoilsport.
Aaron: What about that chick over there?
Me: She's hot. Go get her.
Aaron: What about you?
Me: I'm monogamous.
Aaron: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh shit, my face is so red.
Me: You fell off your bar stool.
Aaron: I'm sorry, dude. It was just? so fucking funny. You get that, right?
Me: No I don't. People can change.
Aaron: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha?
Me: Fuck you.
Me: I'm trying not to go out of my way to get into trouble.
Kevin: Why bother? I'm pretty sure trouble already has your home address. And if not, it knows where to find you, I'm sure.
Me: Hmmm? Good point.
Rochelle: I wanted you bad last night, baby. Where were you?
Me: With my girlfriend.
Rochelle: You have a girlfriend? Good for you. Hey, maybe we can introduce her to my fiance'e.
Me: Why?
Rochelle: We could become, like one big horny family.
Me: ‘Fraid not. I'm being faithful.
Rochelle: You asshole. What am I supposed to do?
Me: Start with your fiance'e.
Rochelle: Unfortunately, all my fiance'e can do is start. I need someone who can get me to finish.
Me: So what? You want a referral or something?
Rochelle: I'm hanging up now, asshole.
Me: Bye.
Rochelle: Fuck you.
Labels: snippets