"Of course I like it in the ass, I love it. I need all twelve inches of your rock hard member stuffed up my tight little ass. Don't worry if I say I don't want it, that's just a little game I like to play, just give it to me anyway. I have the money and I don't mind paying extra for the kinky shit. Come dressed as a hot little number, I like my ladies blonde with bright red lip stick so make sure you look the part…I know you look like a lady, that's why I chose you…. So I will see you tonight around midnight. Don't worry about buzzing my apartment, the front door will be open. I'm on the fourth floor, apartment 406. Wait… before you hang up, my name is Ramone."

Ramone is going to feel what it’s like to be fucked and then tossed away.My need for vengeance upon Ramone runs deep. The day after he laid the Latin pipe to the future mother of my children all night long I ran into him in front of the mail boxes in the lobby of our apartment. I asked him if he remembered her name and he smugly responded with a look of arrogance and a smirk, "No, not really. I think her name was Shelly or something like that. I can't remember every skank I screw." He then proceeded to ask me why I cared who he was banging anyway. I told him I didn't, I was just wondering. He walked away laughing.

I have one rule in life: if you are going to take the time to plough a young lady, make sure to take the time to remember her freaking name. How could this jerk off not remember her name? She is a goddess and deserves to be worshiped, not pumped in every orifice of her body then tossed away and forgotten. For that, Ramone will pay. He will pay with his ass. Vengeance will be swift, Praise Mary's ass.

Payback is a bitch, or in your case Ramone, you're the bitch. Normally I would never stoop to this level of vengeance but this bastard nailed my dream woman. Don't get me wrong, I still want to make sweet love to Mary, but I have to admit that a small part of me died when I saw her leave Ramone's apartment. Mary does not require my forgiveness for fulfilling her sexual needs but I am a little disappointed with her. I cannot understand why she could not have fulfilled her carnal needs with my other neighbor Jenn, a really hot brunette. I have always dreamed of Mary having a really hot and steamy sexual affair with another woman, and I would just happen to walk in on it and be invited to join, but I guess it's just not in the cards…yet.

Man I love the internet. Modern technology rocks. Anyone, at any time, can locate an endless supply of sexual perversion to satisfy all of their carnal needs. It took me all of two minutes to find a local male escort service that provides men who are willing to do whatever is necessary to satisfy their customers as long as they have the cash. I love the fact that they have pictures of all of their employees. I choose a cross dressing fellow who looks just like Ramone's type and has no problem going bare back at the drop of a hat. Ramone will never know what hit him. Well actually he will—the escort posted a naked picture of himself. He's sporting twelve inches of meat. Ramone is going to feel that one in the morning, I assure you of that. He is going to feel what it's like to be fucked and then tossed away.

There is a smacking sound, and a voice yelling, "Take it! Take it all, you little slut!" Patiently I sit and wait for the clock to strike twelve. The wait is intense and my whole body is tingling with anticipation. I think I hear something so I run to the peep hole and wait. Yes! It's him! The escort is right on time. Holy crap, he looks like a smokin' hot lady. Ramone will not be able to resist him. The escort knocks loudly on the door and it takes Ramone all of five seconds to answer it. I cannot make out what they are saying to each other but he is letting him in. He fell for it.

The eagle has landed. I repeat, the eagle has landed.

Running over to my bed I make sure to grab an empty glass so I can listen to the retribution in stereo. To my surprise I cannot make out any sounds coming from Ramone's apartment; it is completely silent. Twenty minutes pass. What the hell could they have been doing for twenty minutes without making a sound? Who cares? The show is starting.

The sounds that finally begin to blast through my apartment walls are disturbing to say the least. It's like a couple of starving animals fighting over a piece of meat. Things start to become a little more forceful. There is a smacking sound, the kind made when an ass is being smacked, and a voice yelling, "Take it! Take it all, you little slut!" I can't believe it. I think this is the first time those words have been spoken in that apartment and have not come from the lips of Ramone. Ramone responds by crying, "Give it to me! Make me your bitch!"

The urge to vomit is overwhelming. What the hell is going on in there? This mission of revenge is not supposed to go down like this. He's not supposed to be enjoying this! For some twisted reason, I think Ramone may be bisexual. Well if he wasn't bisexual before he sure as shit is now.

I can't believe I just spent twenty-seven hundred dollars that I don't have on a high-priced male escort to nail my asshole of a neighbor Ramone in the ass. This was not supposed to turn out this way.

For some reason my revenge plan has failed miserably. Now, I ask you, "Who really just got fucked in the ass?"