>>> The News: JAY KAY!
By staff writer Amir Blumenfeld
November 12, 2003

The real news (for boring people)
The breakdown (for college people)

Dictionary Editors to Keep ‘McJob'

But they are, however, getting rid of McBlowjob. Turns out Ronald can suck dick with the best of them.

By TRUDY TYNAN, Associated Press Writer

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. – McDonald's may not be “lovin' it,” but the editors of the Merriam-Webster dictionary say “McJob” is a word that's here to stay.

“Lovin’ it” indeed Trudy Tynan. Aren't you the master of McPuns. Have you had your WITTICISM today? No seriously, I just love to see you smile.
The 11th edition of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, published in June, defines a “McJob” as “a low-paying job that requires little skill and provides little opportunity for advancement.”

Jeez, you know you're sucking as a fast food chain when they make fun of you in the dictionary. Though what about Jobber King? Or Job’s Jr? Or even Job in the Box?

The fast-food giant's chief executive, Jim Cantalupo, called the definition a “slap in the face” to the 12 million people who work in the restaurant industry, and demanded that Merriam-Webster dish up something more flattering.

Jim Cantalupo continued, “Like two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles onions on a sesame seed bun. Also, our labor force is underpaid. Kidding! I'm only kidding!”

But the dictionary publisher said Tuesday that it “stands by the accuracy and appropriateness” of its definition.

Shit, who knew Webster was such a hard ass?

“For more than 17 years ‘McJob' has been used as we are defining it in a broad range of publications,” the company said, citing everything from The New York Times and Rolling Stone to newspapers in South Africa and Australia.

“Why doesn’t he say for 18 years. Why does it ALWAYS have to be for more than 17 years. Am I 22 years old? Or More than 21 years old? Neither, I’m 20.

With more than 55 million copies sold since 1898, Merriam-Webster's Collegiate claims to be the best-selling hardcover dictionary on the market.

However, the best-selling soft-cover dictionary is Playboy’s ABC guide to bra sizes. Soft cover INDEED!

“Words qualify for inclusion in the dictionary because they are widely and commonly used in a broad range of carefully edited sources,” said Arthur Bicknell, a spokesman for the Springfield-based publisher.

Springfield based publisher eh? If I’ve learned anything watching Homer Simpson, and I have, it is that Springfield is a fake town that doesn’t exist anywhere. NICE TRY ARTHUR BICKNELL!

“McJob” is similarly defined in the American Heritage Dictionary, the Oxford English Dictionary and Webster's Dictionary, published by Random House.

The OED definition, which cites a 1986 story in The Washington Post, is: “An unstimulating, low-paid job with few prospects, esp. one created by the expansion of the service sector.”

Unstimulating? I don’t know about you guys, but when I walk into a McDonalds, and smell the grease burning, America working, our economy being stimulated, while simultaneously receiving a hand jay from a Hanoi low wage escort, IM STIMULATED. AND ILL BE DAMNED IF WEBSTER, OXFORD, OR ANYBODY TAKES THAT AWAY FROM ME!