I know Nate occasionally posts excerpts from conversations that he has with Stoner Chick, and I don't want to infringe on any copyrights or trademarks or anything, but I thought these conversations warranted a blog post.
I know this girl, who I have never met, only ever talked to on the internet. I met her on IRC about 6 months ago and have gotten to know her solely through IRC. Although she is an extremely intelligent person, she's also a stoner chick. She's currently trying to detox, in a day, so she can take a urine test for a job. Needless to say she's a little on edge, and my blog has reaped the benefits.
IRC Girl: when my brother went to community service they had all his paperwork fucked up and they thought he was a level 5 felon. they thought he had an ankle bracelet and shit
Me: level 5 sucks, wait till he gets level 70 mage
IRC Girl: he was like fuuuuck no
Me: level 5 felons can't fuck with a level 70 mage
IRC Girl: lol
Me: what kind of aggro can a level 5 felon pull?
IRC Girl: i dunno
IRC Girl: google it
Me: i don't know what i'm talking about
IRC Girl: me either
Me: i just hear people talk about pulling aggro in WoW
IRC Girl: thats why i recommended googling it
Me: and i've never even seen WoW
IRC Girl: ive played WoW
IRC Girl: i used to play it all the time
IRC Girl: are you going to shower
Me: am i?
Me: no, im at work
IRC Girl: i mean eat
IRC Girl: all it needs is a new tire and a oil change
IRC Girl: and a radio it doesnt have a radio
IRC Girl: that went bye bye
IRC Girl: but i have it here in massachusetts
Me: how many miles?
IRC Girl: $150k
IRC Girl: a mexican stole my radio
Me: well, considering mileage is measured in miles and not dollars
IRC Girl: fuck you
Me: how many trimspas did you take?
IRC Girl: i dont know a few
IRC Girl: it was early in the morning
Me: how many does the bottle say is the recommended daily dosage?
IRC Girl: ive walked 4 miles already today and im still like a crack fiend
IRC Girl: i dont know the answer to that question
Me: do you have the bottle handy?
IRC Girl: no
IRC Girl: its upstairs
Me: but it was enough that you lost count?
IRC Girl: i think you are supposed to take 2 in the morning and 2 at night or something
IRC Girl: i think i took 5
Me: i think that's 2 too many
IRC Girl: really?
IRC Girl: fuck
Me: instead of being a pothead, you're now addicted to trimspas
Me: congratulations, instead of detoxing, you're now a drug addict again
IRC Girl: they dont test for those
Me: that's great, so you'll have a job, but you'll weigh 30 pounds
IRC Girl: ZOMG IM LIKE ANNA NICOLE
IRC Girl: i take trimspas
IRC Girl: didnt she overdose?
IRC Girl: do i get to marry an old guy?
IRC Girl: can he have a lot of money?
Me: he did
Me: he was a billionaire
Me: then he died
Me: but she had to bang him
IRC Girl: no i mean do i get to marry one
IRC Girl: that's icky
IRC Girl: nevermind if i have to put up with old balls i dont want to marry an old rich guy