Date: Nov 9, 2006 12:33 EST
From: John Bell {John&[email protected]}
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re:Magician for hire

Dear Walter,

You sound great!!

See you this Saturday then!

John.

Date: Nov.7, 2006 5:49 EST
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Magician for hire

John,

Got your call on my machine. Currenly on vacation right now hence the email.

So you're looking for a magician for your kid's birthday party? Listen I'm your man. Let me give you a brief rundown on what I can do:

– I got this trick called “Return of the dead” and basically what I do is take a kids life…annouce him legally dead as I'll get his heart to stop beating for about 2 minutes. Then I'll bring the little fucker back to life.

– Before the show starts I'll wire you up with a blood pack to your chest. Basically in the middle of the show I'll say some kind of bullshit excuse like I don't want to be here anymore and then I'll pull out an actual gun and pretend to shoot myself in the chest. But with a hidden remote control I'll set off your blood pack and you go down. Kids love this one. Usually they freak out at first but then after its cool.

– This other trick I do called “Legs”. Basically I get a kid to get in my box and I pretend to saw him in half. But what really happens is that when I pull open the box to reveal his two seperate halfs…you have his torso showing in the first half and I got this actual dead bloody dog that I use to show “the kids legs”. And of course its the dogs legs. Its super fucked!

– My favorite illusion though is that I'll take a kid with me into a dark closet and we'll stay in there for like an hour. Things get weird after the 15th to 30th minute when the kid starts to freak out. He'll start yelling and crying and just freaking out. Usually the other kids at the party start to freak out too because they think I'm doing something awful to the kid in the closet and things just get so intense. But the best is when I finally let the kid out and everyones like “what happened in there?” and the kids got nothing. Fucking right he's got nothing.

– I got this other crowd favorite that I usually do at the end of my act. I'll leave it a surprise but basically it involves the birthday kid, smoke and an unflushed dump in your toilet that I will produce. I call it “the gift”.

Anyways, email me back and let me know what the scoop is. If interested I'll be back from vacation to make it on the Saturday.

Walter

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