Marky boy –

Hey man. Sorry I can't go to the kegger this Saturday. It's me and Donna's 1 year anniversary. Gotta spend some quality time together. Barf! We are heading out to the Keg. That's going to cost me a fucking fortune!

Oh man, you'd never believe what happened. So yesterday, I went out with Calvin and Brian. We go to some pub for a few drinks. By the way, I can't believe how fast me and those guys have become cool considering we've only been roommates for 2 weeks!

Anyways, so we all get wasted and come back to the house. Calvin goes to bed right away since he's got class early the next morning. But Brian and I don't, and we are drunk and bored. So we decide to go snooping into Laural's room!

She's gone home all this week cuz her grandmother's in the hospital and she's helping her dad out.

So of course her door is locked. But Brain cracks open the lock using just a paper clip and a screwdriver!! Fucking Macgyver!! lol.

We get into her room and start going through her shit. Then I find it. HER FUCKING DIARY! I only thought little girls kept diaries! Not a 22 year old college student! Apparently not.

At first I asked Brian if we should read this. We hardly even know her. But in the end (30 seconds later) we were too drunk to give a shit and we cracked it open.

So I start reading a few entries and it's all boring shit. Like feeling sorry for her dad and this cute manager guy at a movie theatre who she thinks is hot but doesn't have the courage to talk to. But then we find the juice!

The entry was dated about 3 weeks ago. She talked about heading to class early one morning. As she was riding the bus she started to get these stomach cramps. When she got to class she was still hurting. She said she usually sits at the front, but this time she felt uncomfortable and sat at the back of her 200 student class.

Suddenly, half way through the lecture her mild stomach pains turned intense. She tried to get up but movement caused for real sharp pain that kinda paralized her from moving. Next thing she knows she shits her pants!! She wrote “the amount that came out of me was gross”. But follows it with “It was soothing though.” Then she writes that the nasty smell hit the room. But no one could tell who did it!! The Prof who at first tried ignoring the smell eventually gives up and says “If anyone needs to use the bathroom, please do so!” lol. And this is where the story gets fucked! She writes she didn't move “not because I was embarrassed, I wasn't, but because I enjoyed the awkward moment I was creating.” She said people were getting up and leaving because they couldn't take the smell or were too embarrassed.

The Professor ended up ending class 15 mins later!

Man, can you believe that? This chick is a freak! Brian and I couldn't believe it. I wonder what Laurel is like in bed? I think when she comes back I'm going to try and get with her.

I bet she’d let me do her without a condom.

I’ll keep you updated,


From: “Mark Walls”
To: [email protected]
Subject: Lets party
Date: Wed, 1st Mar 2006 09:07:11 -0500 (EST)

John, kegger this Saturday, you in?

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