Let me just preface this by saying that even though I’m about to ask you a series of questions to which I’d appreciate responses peppered with humor, this is NOT the same thing as Casey’s weekly questions. Capiche? And while we’re on this topic, any future bits of fun conversations I take out of context and meld with other conversations to find a bigger meaning are NOT SNIPPETS.

Ahem. Now. Being an English major, I’m probably more apt than others to fixate on the ways people pronounce certain words. I’m also probably more apt to erupt in fits of violence when other peoples’ speech patterns don’t agree with my own. Just out of curiosity:

 1)    Do you pronounce the “t” in “often?”

2)    Do you pronounce the “r” in February?

3)    Do you say “sherbert” or “sherbet?”

4)    Do you have any friends from Philadelphia who have omitted the preposition “with” from their vocabularies altogether? I.E. instead of saying “I’m done with dinner,” they’ll just say, “I’m done dinner?” Does it drive you crazy? Have you murdered them yet? If so, how? Can you tell that this bothers me??!

5)    Are there any other words you pronounce differently from your friends and they give you a lot of flack? For example, sometimes I say “drawring” instead of “drawing.” My college buddies laugh. I also sometimes say “ass hole” instead of “buddy.”

Please answer any of the above questions honestly, and feel free to include an anecdote about any pronunciation-related debacle you’ve endured. Or just write the anecdote. Or don’t write anything at all, see if I care. What I’m really trying to find out here is what that stupid “r” is doing in February.