Xtasy is sweeping the Nate-ion. My writing is in blue, which was entirely coincidental, but makes it more clear, I think.

From: Nathan (sendmepictures@themanhole.com)
To: Xavier (me@this.com)

Fuck fuck fuck. If you’d have told me that the Bucs would lose because of a weak effort by Jeff Garcia and stellar play by Eli Manning, I’d have laughed right in your interface. It’s like, you root for a team all season long, you never miss a game, the playoffs roll around, and all your dedication seems decidedly stupid. Fuck fuck fuck.

The good news: I made $100, had an awesome weekend that I can’t write about because I want to keep having these kinds of weekends, and I thoroughly enjoyed the Steelers/Jaguars game to the tune of $50. It was one of those games that reminds you why you love football. It had the drama, the hits and the underdog triumph. I love me some underdog triumph. It’s delicious.

You got me thinking about my favorite color with your little spiel last week on color choices. I’ve always thought green was my favorite color because so many awesome things are green: money, grass, my freaking eyes, but now that I think about it, green is a horrible color for a lot of things, like say bananas or beef. So thanks, X, you totally fucked up my perception of my favorite color. I hope you’re happy with yourself, Xhole.

I agree about the Vick treatment with the notes. Since when is it insincere to use notes? It’s not like he had three or four days to memorize it anyway. Whatever.

From: Xavier

To: Nathan

Hey, if you had told me that I would be rooting for Eli Manning and the Giants, I would laughed right back. Playoffs make strange bedfellows, I guess. I feel oddly vindicated for making no effort to learn about why the Bucs didn't suck this year. Not even a little effort. Every week I just assumed they would lose. Finally, it's paying off.
My weekend was kind of eh. I did get a good amount of sleep, which I guess is worth something. I'm not nearly confident enough in my knowledge of football (or, for that matter, sports betting) to risk any money on any of these teams.
Jags/Steelers man. What an emotional roller-coaster that was. I felt like a freakin' genius on the first drive. Then I felt like an idiot on the ensuing kickoff. Then I felt like a lot more of an idiot as the game went on. Then, in the fourth quarter, my faith in my game-picking genius was restored by an effective Roethlisberger (no clue if that's right). It was all going so well. The, David Garrard had to go and fuck everything up with a stupid fourth down run. I was actually watching this one with a friend, and reacting predictably to all of these twists and turns, when she asked me who I was rooting for.
“Pittsburgh”
“Why?”
“Because…I picked them?”
The point of this story is that I love being right. More than I love having calm, heart-attack free evenings.
Xhole. It has a ring to it. It might supplant X-Box (which is really a girls nickname anyway) as my favorite random nick-nickname.
I think Vick would have gotten a lot more sympathy if he just got up in front of those people and said, “you know what people? I really screwed the pooch on this one.”
This week I'll try to find a sports bar or something to watch the games. It would give me a chance to cheer wildly during inappopriate times, like sideline interviews.

From: Nathan
To: Xavier

Moving on to the picks because picks is the shit.

Seahawks over Packers
It’s underrated versus overrated. It’s Favre’s old coach versus Favre’s new coach. It should be the best game of the week. To me, the Seahawks are a pretty well kept secret. Two years ago, I made a buttload of money on them because Vegas kept underrating them. Maybe it’s ‘cause their QB is bald. Also, to drive this home, no one plays well in Lambeau in January and that includes the Packers.

Patriots over Jaguars
I hope I’m wrong here, but the Jags barely beat the Steelers and they played their asses off. Meanwhile, Tom Brady and Randy Moss have been aggressively practicing high-fiving each other and smiling. This will be a massacre.

Colts over Chargers
And the Norv Turner era is over. I wonder who will coach the Chargers next year. I hope it’s me. Love San Diego.

Cowboys over Giants
This game was the toughest call of the week for me. If the Giants play like they played the Bucs last week (sigh), the ‘Boys’ll be fucked. Oh, and speaking of fucked, what’s the over/under on days until the Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson sex tape is released. I’m thinking 185, but that figure may be low. She tends to work slow. Come to think of it, the bitch is just slow. Period.

From: Xavier

To: Nathan

PACKERS over Seahawks
I agree that the packers are overrated and the seahawks are underrated, and I think if this game was in Seattle, the Hawks win easily. I think Green Bay pulls it out at Lambeau though. The bald thing is spot-on. Matt Hasselbeck probably called Donovan and whined, “you think BLACK quarterbacks have it bad? At least you have hair…”
Patriots over Jaguars
I don't think this one is close. I have Randy going 9-123-2. My only prediction here is that Brady gets sacked hard early, then the score gets run up.
Colts over Chargers
Only way the Colts lose this game is if they look ahead. Which I don't think will happen.
COWBOYS over Giants
I realize that I should probably capialize Colts and Patriots too, but my backspace key is on strike. I thnk this is the game where Eli fucks up. And I think Jessica Simpson sucks in bed. And not in the good way. Ashley, on the other hand, is needy and desperate. I like that in a lover.

From: Nathan
To: Xavier

Three more questions and then I’m out.

What is the deal with all the hating going around PIC lately (and yes, I know this is not football related)? For some reason, we got front page writers ripping on each other and David Nelson. We had that Gaudio/Xavier thing? Why all the hate, man? Why?

You mentioned that you spend a great deal of time in LA? Do you think they’ll even attempt to get an NFL team? Do you have any inside dirt on this? Do you think the people out there deserve a team? Want a team? Passionately seek out a team? I’m kind of curious about that. The Sports Guy once wrote that it would be very difficult to explain to a foreigner why Green Bay has a team and LA doesn’t. Maybe you want to give it a shot? Maybe you don’t. Maybe you’d like a cheeseburger.

Brett Favre and retirement: yes or no? I say yes, but I don’t think he will. Your thoughts please.

From: Xavier

To: Nathan

The Gaudio thing was supposed to be silly. I have no idea why Kevin Chang went after JB, and even less of an idea why he went after Nelson. As long as it stays in good fun, I'm all for it. Let's hope it doesn't get as stupid as past conflicts.
I know nothing about LA, and I don't really talk to people when I'm there. That being said, I don't think of LA as a football town.
I don't think Brett retires. I think he's going to have to have another AWFUL season before he's willing to hang it up.
On an entirely different note, I've begun to take exception with the phrase “sugarcoating”. People always seem to use it in a negative context, when, in fact, coating things with sugar is awesome thing to do. People like sugary things. What's wrong with a little bit of sugarcoating?
I'm sleepy.

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