• Andy Milonakis is 112 years old. It's on the Internet so it must be true.
    Seriously. Look it up.
    He's even older than Nate.
  • I hate commercials where they make babies talk. They're creepy.
  • I can't find my nail clippers. My toenails are so fucking long.
    ToDo: Buy nail clippers tomorrow.
  • You know those box tops for education? I'm sure kids aren't collecting those. Who wants their school to have more money? I think every kid would rather have teh school go broke so they can eat sugary cereal and play video games all day. Maybe you should have to collect boxtops for some other kids education.