Thursday, October 12, 2006
Miss Janice Taylor
Human Resource Director
765 Wellington Street East

Dear Miss Taylor,
Hello, my name is Dennis Harris and I am delighted to be applying for the Children's Entertainer position. I became aware of the position online at your company's website.
I believe being a clown is my destiny. The past 15 years has given me much experience…
but in a reality that I call my dreams
The following 2 dreams are ones that I have on a regular basis:
1) I begin the dream in bed with a strange looking woman. Like two primate animals we are going at it pretty rough. And she is making some weird monkey noises. Suddenly I morph into a clown and she morphs into like 20 children. Then for some time, I find myself juggling and making many balloon animals for all the cheering kids. There is laughter and joy everywhere. A large delicious birthday cake eventually appears and all the kids scream and circle around it. They are just about to blow out the candles when they all morph back into the strange woman, I morph back to myself and then I ejaculate inside her.
2) Okay you know that fucked up scene from Saving Private Ryan when that one American solider is wrestling that Nazi in a shell-bombed house and the Nazi is stronger and ends up on top of the American where he pulls out a knife and slowly inserts it into the chest of the american while the whole time the american pleads for his life? Yeah well basically my dream is the same as that scene except the Nazi is me dressed as a clown and the american solider is some 9 year old kid.
Please find attached my resume and I would love the opportunity to come in for an interview.
Thank you and looking forward to hearing from you,