The Internet – During a routine response to a comment in his humor blog, alleged humor writer Mike Tuckerson typed “accept” instead of “except.” Mr. Tuckerson’s grievous error was brought to light by Stacie Hays, a rumored nominee for the prestigious Why Bother? Award. According to sources, Hays also has a column though no one could confirm it actually exists.

In a press conference held earlier, Mr. Tuckerson issued the following:

“I’d like to take this time to personally apologize to my family and friends for putting them through this difficult time. I’d also like to apologize to the Internet and the rest of the staff for compromising the integrity of the blogging community itself.”

“He was always such a devoted grammarian,” stated Tuckerson’s 3rd Grade English Teacher Helen Freidman. “He always crossed his T’s and dotted his I’s. I’m rather ashamed, but I think we should all thank Miss Hays for her vigilance in catching the error.”

As news of this security breach reached the Pentagon, Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chernoff commented, “I believe it was the political scholar Edmund Burke who once said ‘All that is necessary for the triumph of Evil is that good men do not spell check.’ I have reason to believe Mr. Tuckerson’s actions may have, in fact, been linked to September 11 as well.”

No word has been issued regarding the penalties for Mr. Tuckerson’s actions, but statutes indicate that he will likely be heckled hypocritically by other columnists.

For more detail, see the image above. For less detail, stop reading sooner.

Author's Edit: For purposes of Full Disclosure, I have included a link to Miss Hays new Blog for anyone interested. Also, deleted posts have been “digitally restored” for sarcastic integrity.