Note: this was supposed to be posted on Tuesday July 5th. Stupid airport pay wireless.
I’m on my way home from…home. After a long weekend in the city that will always in someway be home, East Lansing, I’m sitting in the Detroit Northwest terminal waiting for my connection to St. Louis, my new home for the next year.
Getting back into EL was quite necessary fro my sanity (such as it is). I was pretty homesick, so I took advantage of our Nation’s birthday and hoofed it back home. OK, I railed it back home.
Friday was a 15-hour traveling day. I hate trains. What a pain in the ass. A four hour layover didn’t help either, but at least I was able to use the time to walk around Chicago. I walked four miles around that city and still had an hour left to sit on my ass to watch the Amish people in the terminal.
Kasper and Rouker picked me up from the train station in EL, and, once again proving that it truly is a small world, I also ran into an ex as I was schlepping my stuff to the car. This was a girl who had broken up with me because the relationship had “plateaued.” Which I guess really means “on its way down the tubes.” Whatever, I wasn’t heartbroken. So I was surprised when she was so excited to see me and asked me what I was doing at the train station.
Three sentences later, I was more than done talking to her and her hooker-purple eyeshadow. I don’t think I said as much as ‘see ya’ as I turned heel and walked away. Cold blooded.
Exes. Fuck it. Who has time for them? Especially if they weren’t that interesting to begin with.
With my ex dispatched, I went on to visit my current love at her work. Then it was off for some pillaging, rioting and drinking with the boys. It was a red-letter day: another 21st, and we all wanted to see Dover puke at the bar.
Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, we failed. He didn’t puke until he got home and his girlfriend made him stick his finger down his throat, which we all agreed was about the most pussy thing you could ever do.
Saturday I spent bumming around and hanging out with whoever was around. Saturday night was a night with the woman, and I honestly can’t remember what we did, but it was awesome getting to spend some time with her.
Sunday was our barbecue. Gaby had another radio shift so I hung around staring off into space until she got back from that. I spent an hour or so talking to her roommate another wedding. The bride-to-be had a cousin in town who is without a doubt the hottest kindergarten teacher that I have ever met. I think she knew it too. I think she wanted me. Sorry, babe. No dice.
The barbecue evolved around the time-tested centerpiece of men converging on the grill to grunt, point and squirt lighter fluid at each other. I was quickly distracted by my margaritas and beer pong. Rouker and I defeated the first team and then lost two legendary games that included the other team making 5 shots in a row in rebuttals.
Then all of a sudden, I was drunk. Not plastered to the point that I couldn’t stand, but I was pretty gone so I grabbed a bratwurst to help settle my stomach. I ate half of it before I realized that it was only half-cooked.
Not too long after that I was puking in Gaby’s kitchen sink. Poor Gaby. Had to deal with drunk Beech again.
For some reason, after grilling all day, we all went out to some restaurant. I couldn’t tell you much of what was going on because I was eating garlic bread, drinking water and trying to not die. The only thing of note I did was summon our overly-incompetent waitress over with a clap. I’m such an ass, but I felt like a balla.’
Monday was rainy. I didn’t go see any fireworks, but that’s mostly because I don’t give a shit. I’d rather see a thunderstorm any day. In fact, not only did in not see any fruity colored explosions, I managed to get through this weekend without one patriotic moment or thought in my head.
Today I had to get up hella early and now, I’m at the airport on my way back to St. Louis where I have to go straight into work. Lucky me. I’m not even saying that sarcastically. One guy should not be so lucky. I’ve got a job, a place to live and people who love me. Maybe not all in the same city, but there’s time still for that. I’m not worried.
They’re calling my flight…