EXT. CAVE – DAY
12 THAI BOYS dismount from their bicycles and peer into the abyss.
Loving the draft so far, the story feels very real. Note on casting: could be difficult for a broader audience to empathize with protagonists who are exclusively young, Thai boys. As it happens, Angelina Jolie has just become available, and we could really see Angelina in this film—as an angelic apparition in the cave, or a concerned wife of one of the rescuers, or one of (all of?) the boys—that’d go a long way with the female demo.
INT. CAVE – NIGHT
The tall, strapping RESCUER pokes his head through the murky water.
Great scene. Everyone is so psyched about this project. One more quick note on casting—did you have anyone in mind for the feisty, wise-cracking Vern Unsworth? Obviously, this character should be authentically British (bad teeth, emotionally repressed, etc.) and we need someone with enough charisma to believably tell billionaire Elon Musk to shove it. What about Tom Hardy or Paul Bettany? As for Musk, who were you thinking? The art department is mocking up some storyboards with Angelina driving a Tesla. We feel that this is a no-brainer. Looking forward to your thoughts.
FLASHBACK – INT. THAI MONASTERY – DAY
EKAPOL CHANTHAWONG meditates in a room empty except for a soccer ball.
Such a powerful scene here. Real quick, who do you picture playing the boys’ coach, Ekapol Chantawong? Spitballing, does he have to be Thai? If so, can we compromise on the name and have the boys calling him “Eka.” or “Coach,” or “Chad”?
INT. SPACEX COMPOUND – DAY
ELON MUSK flips through blueprints for tiny submarines.
Great call on the tiny submarines.
INT. DEEP IN THE CAVE SYSTEM – NIGHT
We hear a muffled cry, a gasp for breath. Vern leaps into the water, reaching, shouting —
Now that Act III is coming to life, we can really see Angelina as the rescuer. Let’s say she’s just playing the rescuer and Elon Musk. In that case, would you be totally opposed if the thing she’s rescuing isn’t actually a group of young, Thai boys at all, but something a little less, you know, cliché? The whole “Thai boys in a cave” thing is feeling stale already. We think it’d really up the stakes if whatever Angelina’s rescuing didn’t desperately want to be rescued. We feel this will create what’s called “narrative tension.”
INT. MOUTH OF THE CAVE – NIGHT
Vern takes a deep breath and removes his breathing apparatus.
Do you know what we mean? Instead, what if whatever Angelina’s rescuing, to be determined later, is in fact resisting all attempts to remove it from its ancient resting place; and not just resisting, but actually cursing whoever touches it? That way, Angelina isn’t just rescuing—a movie trope we can all agree is overdone—she’s more raiding.
INT. PHITSANULOK MANSION – DAY
The THAI PRIME MINISTER slowly puts down his phone and mouths three words: “We got ‘em.”
What exactly she’s raiding, again, we don’t know, and far be it for us to say. After all, you’re the writer.
Just make sure it’s a tomb.