You’ve tried all the Sex and the City quizzes and felt like they never quite got you. Well, it’s not you, it’s the quizzes. Forget those other quizzes. THIS is the quiz that will give you the answers you’ve been searching for.

1. Where does all your money go?

a. Clothes.
b. Clothes.
c. Clothes.
d. Clothes.
e. A variety of things based on my different needs and interests.

2. Where do you like to catch up with your friends?

a. Breakfast at a diner.
b. Breakfast at a diner.
c. Breakfast at a diner.
d. Breakfast at a diner.
e. Someplace other than a diner.

3. What’s your favorite city?

a. New York.
b. New York.
c. New York City.
d. New York.
e. The one I don’t actually live in but see romanticized on TV.

4. What do you do for a living?

a. Write one column in a newspaper.
b. Lawyer.
c. Work in an art gallery but dream of being a housewife.
d. Public Relations.
e. Truck driver, nurse, retail sales, software developer, customer service, accountant, food service, physical therapist, industrial engineer, teacher, electrician, police officer, administrative assistant, landscaping, human resources, hairdresser, pharmacist, barista, insurance agent, dental hygienist, telemarketer, social worker, fitness trainer, hotel desk clerk, graphic designer, heating and air conditioning, printing press operator, or another job.

5. What is one of your most iconic lines?

a. “Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park is forever.”
b. “I’m a 34-year-old woman with braces and I’m on a liquid diet. Pain doesn’t begin to cover it.”
c. “I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted! Where is he?!”
d. “I feel the same way about being a bridesmaid as you feel about Botox. Painful and unnecessary.”
e. I don’t have an iconic line. I say a lot of things, but I don’t remember most of it, and neither does anyone else.

6. Choose a guy:

a. Mr. Big.
b. Steve Brady.
c. Harry Goldenblatt.
d. Smith Jerrod.
e. A different guy, one who I have actually met.

7. What are you most likely to be doing on any given day?

a. Typing the phrase, “I couldn’t help but wonder…”
b. Looking busy in a corporate outfit.
c. Smoothing out my extra-shiny hair.
d. Telling people about the sex I just had.
e. I shower, go to work, do my job, come home, spend time with my partner/family/roommates, watch SATC, take a personality quiz, go to sleep.

8. Sure, you have three best friends who you all love “equally.” But which one is your actual best friend?

a. Miranda.
b. Carrie.
c. Carrie.
d. Carrie.
e. I actually don’t have three best friends. I don’t even have one best friend, which is why I’m watching Sex and the City in the first place. Female friendships are so rarely represented on television that I’m willing to overlook any flaws on the show to binge-watch episodes until I almost believe the characters are my friends, which is uplifting in the moment but ultimately makes me even lonelier, so I try to fill that void through online quizzes that temporarily reinforce my delusions.

Answer Key:

Mostly a’s, b’s, or c’s: You’re a character from a late '90s-early '00s television show who is about to be re-booted. You thought that trip to the Middle East eleven years ago was the last of it, but you’re back, baby! We know you’re tired of everyone harping on you for only hanging out with people who have the same race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexuality, age, socio-economic status, geographic location, and taste in shoes. But hey, it got you this far. Take the pressure off yourself to use this revival as a chance to do something new. Pour yourself a Cosmo and stay comfy.

Mostly d’s: You’re a Samantha. Keep living off the re-runs and do your thing.

Mostly e’s: You’re an individual who extends beyond the confines of this TV personality quiz. You have a complex personal history, experience a range of emotions, and possess some flaws and some strengths. You have some good times and some not-so-good times. We wish we could give specifics, but you’re too unique to pin down. If you’re interested in learning more about yourself, maybe try journaling, meditation, therapy, making a list of likes and dislikes, calling your mom, or going for a walk. We don’t know. We’re not you, so we’re not going to claim to know. Good luck on your journey to self-discovery!

Next Quiz: THIS is the ultimate quiz that will FINALLY tell you which Friends character is slightly representative of your small quirk!