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If you participate in one or more of the following 8 actions or behaviors, you are a monster, and you are cordially invited to eat fast food for the rest of your pathetic life.
I've finally made a decision: the first drug I'm going to try is weed, and my first partner in crime is going to be my dog, because the conversation is going to be amazing.
If you've ever been heartbroken or dumped, you know that shitty feeling that feels like you'll never come out from. Guess what? Now's the perfect time to bring everyone else down!
It can often be difficult to figure out the true meaning behind people posting "happy birthday" on your wall. But by looking at the times of each post, you can dissect the situation.
For every awe-inspiring blockbuster or hard-hitting drama we fall in love with, there is always going to be an obnoxious remake. Here is a list of the big films coming in 2012 and what to expect.
Baby you and me ain't nothin but rabbits. So let's do it way better, more often, and super sexier than they do it on the Discovery Channel.
After braving the parallel universe that is Memebase, ignoring any terrible visions of the apocalypse, I came to a conclusion: the English language as we know it will pretty much cease to exist.
It may never be a good haircut but at least it's cheap and involves hair getting cut. That is, if you can make it through all the trials and tribulations of the waiting room.
My initial shock and disbelief quickly dissolved into anger. I knew what I was supposed to do—not litter—but where was the commercial that taught you how to deal with litterers?
My best friend and I used to laugh at people in relationships. Now I've done things so girlfriendy and embarrassing that it makes me cringe.
There comes a moment in a man's life when he stares into the jaundiced, bleary eye of fate and realizes the inescapable truth of what is to become of the rest of his time in this world.
Throughout history, cats had an uncanny ability to lull people into their graces with the innocence of kittenhood. Now we know they're sexual deviants that are full of shit.