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Dear Santa, how's the Mrs.? Have you given any thought to the arsenic? I promise it's painless. I promise I can make you feel young again.
To inspire all of you teachers out there who are on the verge of screaming at your students, punching your administrators in the face, and/or committing suicide.
I've done my best this year to try and avoid the Facebook narcissism that endlessly infiltrates my news feed, only to find that it is physically impossible, thus Part 3.
A much-needed revision to the outdated gifts from the Christmas classic. Hell, even a song about gifts in 2005 would be long obsolete given our demand for the latest in supply.
Before all you Star Wars fanatics get your storm trooper tights in a bunch, remove that hot light saber from your butt and remember this is about qualitative value, not box office figures.
We Indians, who didn't know what table manners meant until the advent of the 21st century, are flabbergasted every time we see a Chinese guy eating with chopsticks.
There's an epidemic going around: parents think they can name their boys any shitty ambiguously-gendered thing they want just because they made them.
With the first Hobbit film soon to hit theaters, and Game of Thrones still cutting a bloody swathe through the TV ratings, are we about to see another golden period for fantasy movies?
Pre-Sampras, it was the norm for a tennis star to look about as masculine as the Dutch Boy. Post-Sampras, it became okay to be as hairy as an Italian truck driver.
I spend most of my time bored and lonely on Facebook. And for that, I now know so much about my friends that it's awkward to actually be around them in person.
It has been brought to my attention that sometimes people get sober. Mostly because they don't have enough money or brain cells left to take drinking to the next level.
Most of the emails you send on a daily basis contain absolutely no thoughts that could be considered "profound." So stop using ridiculously unrealistic inspirational quotes.