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“Give me a lawyer penguin.” This suspect would like to be represented by Danny Devito’s Penguin from the classic Batman Returns.
Sell and then shake 'em down for dirt on their dealer. There's only room for one dirty cop and one dirty Girl Scout troop in this neighborhood.
While not a standout diplomat by any means, there was always the fear of Tillerson putting together a semi-competent performance.
To: Juliet Miller <[email protected]> Subject: Your Last Chance to Get Up On This
It’s like being teleported to any Texaco lavatory in the tri-county area without having to leave the comfort of your living room!
The swivel chair’s flying across the room, its arc through the air a simple yet astute critique of warming global temperatures.
Daniel Day-Lewis really brought it in Phantom Thread. What he didn’t bring were troublesome rabbits, so my son didn't care for it at all.
For those of us over 60, cards could say, “Congratulations on outwitting the grim reaper, keep up the good work!”
The Despacito singer received a routine chest X-ray today. Doctors say the Biebs will be “mildly radioactive for the next several hours.” Cute!
A master ball isn’t gonna do it, dumbass. It’s gonna take a brand sponsorship and widespread public interest in your day-to-day bullshit.
Let’s put on some hip-hop and do leg lifts like it’s 2002! Feel the burn. Not #feelthebern. Because really, are the Bernie Bros happy now?
Maybe I should wait for Maisy to realize that anorexia is bad. Maybe I should start a hobby. Maybe I should just crack jokes like usual.