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These behaviors are your dog's way of telling you she wants to become a vegetarian. After all, there's no chance canines are actually biologically programmed to eat meat.
Less is more, I always said. If you can’t find a fjord in New Jersey, better apply for an ocean permit ASAP so we can have the ceremony at Brigantine Beach.
By setting such an unattainable standard for human behavior and existence, Chick-fil-A workers reveal just how miserably inferior the rest of us are.
Tim Cook's voice sounded almost dreamlike as it reverberated off the pillars and buttresses of the repurposed superchurch that served as Apple's Announcement Pod.
My girlfriend Mary Lou always told me to stop twirling my mustache and tying her to train tracks, but I never really took it seriously, you know?
Rest assured, students do not learn teleportation until their fourth year. We had some minor issues with spontaneous combustion in the past, which is why we pushed it back.
I wonder if my indoor sunglasses and the giant jug of orange juice betray my hangover? The glare from Sister Beatrice indicates yes.
Does metabolism really have anything to do with taking off your shirt, screaming "I want to feel alive!" and diving face first into a 360-degree twisted tube slide?
Mere moments after meeting her, she begins choking violently. A quick Heimlich produces an unsettling amount of used condoms. YES / NO
Whether you're getting through a tough breakup, have low self-esteem, or just lack self control, Feel Good Grub is perfect for piggy little stress eaters like you.
This time I'm really going to buckle down and clean up my digital clutter. But not before I add some dream vacation spots to my Pinterest board.
DOCTOR: First, your brain. It’s no good. You have a condition known as neuromaniacosis. It means you whine too much.