RE: Out of Love for the Truth and from Desire to Elucidate it, the Reverend Father Martin Luther, Master of Arts and Sacred Theology, and Ordinary Lecturer therein at Wittenberg, Intends to Provide Feedback Herein for the Bound Book Cover of his Reprinted Works

From: Guttenberg Press <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]

Reverend Father Martin Luther,

Thank you for your detailed and extensive feedback on our cover design for 95 Theses. Due to time and budget constraints, I would like to let you know what of your feedback is actionable by our team at Guttenberg Press. Thanks in advance for your understanding, and we look forward to approval to move forward with these changes.

1. You’ve requested that the tagline on the front cover, “Indulge no more” be updated to reflect thesis 21 out of 95: “Thus those indulgence preachers are in error who say that a man is absolved from every penalty and saved by papal indulgences.” I appreciate your interest in specificity here; ultimately we are looking for something more marketable here. If you are still interested in something longer, let me know if “Indulgence preachers hate him!” works for you.

2. Your request to remove the following quote from Pope Leo X from the front cover cannot be fulfilled: “It's been an honor to call for the excommunication and execution for heresy of one of our generation's foremost and prolific authors.”

We have a couple options for quotes we could use in its place; let me know which you prefer:

“Works like these are the reason why I invented the printing press in the first place.” —Johannes Gutenberg

“I may have created linear perspective, but Luther's perspective as presented in 95 Theses has definitely has me beat.” —Brunelleschi

“Definitely the second-best break from the Catholic Church that occured in the 1500s.” —King Henry VIII

3. Unfortunately, after several attempts to reach them, we were not able to get in touch with the Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost for jacket quotes. We suggest moving forward without quotes from them and pray they can make a guest appearance at one of the book tour stops. With that said, we were able to source a supernatural quote of a different kind in lieu of a theistic quote:

“You're welcome.” —The Bolt of Lightning That Almost Struck Martin Luther and Inspired Him to Become a Monk

4. At your request, we’ve removed any reference to the nailing of the Theses to the door of the All Saints Church in Wittenberg after further clarification from your team that that account was, “a falsehood.” The jacket copy now reads as follows:

“Written in biting, sharp, and personal prose, Ninety-Five Theses is a sprawling and courageous piece by renowned provocateur and first-time author Martin Luther about the possibility of a world without indulgences—if only we are brave enough to come out against the Roman Catholic Church.

One night, in an isolated cottage-town in the woods of Renaissance Germany, an elderly, 32-year-old man tosses and turns on his deathbed. Visions of Purgatory, the wasteland between Heaven and Hell dance in his mind, as he reviews his regrettable life and financial position that led him to an inability to purchase indulgences—those coveted trinkets that would lessen his time in the otherworldly no-man's-land. The suffering of this man and many others in similarly desperate positions inspire a young cleric by the name of Martin Luther to journey amongst the rank-and-file of The Church, challenging hearts and minds about the exploitative nature of the indulgence practice. Along the way, Luther risks his life and reputation to face the laity, priests, deacons, bishops, archbishops, cardinals, and the pope. He dreams of a world where parishioners do not have to pay their way into Heaven—but at what cost?”

We await your approval of these changes.

We close this email with your requested conclusion for our communications: Therefore we ask that those who cannot be present and dispute the contents of this electronic communication orally shall do so in their absence by returning electronic communication. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

Kimberly Patterson
Editor, Guttenberg Press