Our relationship is and always has been revolved around you. What you need and when you need it. You only ever hit me up when you need comfort from me and after my warm broth and hearty vegetables absolve you of your ailments, you leave me. No notice. No explanation.
I just sit in the kitchen cupboard waiting until the next time you show up unexpectedly after months of neglect with your puffy eyes and runny nose, and like an idiot, I take care of you. All the while I’m thinking, nay praying, that this time things will be different. This time you’ll stay. But you don’t. You take advantage of my healing nature and break my heart over and over again. I shouldn’t be surprised. Of course, you’d leave after you got what you came for.
I know what you’re thinking. Where is this coming from? For you, this may seem out of the blue, but for me, this relationship has always been one-sided. Just once it would be nice to be with you when you’re not wheezing all over me, covered in a feverish sweat. All we ever do is sit on the couch or lay in bed and I want more than that.
I want to be wanted, not needed. I want to be consumed not just when it’s convenient. I want to be served as the main dish in the middle of July and not just in the chilly months of winter. I want to gaze upon the blooming flowers and bask under the glow of the shining sun. I want to be a full part of your life.
Why do you push me away? Are you ashamed of me?
I see you together with Spaghetti and his pasta friends all the time and it makes me feel insecure about myself. What do they have that I don’t?
Chicken Nugget tells me it could be worse. You only hang out with her when you’re drunk or hungover. She tells me to be grateful for what we have, but I think me, Chicken Nugget, and whoever else you’ve hurt deserve better.
I focus all my energy on you I am drained and have nothing left for myself. This would be easier to bear if you would return my affection, but you don’t. All I have ever done is love and care for you, human. Why can’t you do the same for me?
For too long I have put your feelings and welfare ahead of my own. It’s the reason I have stopped myself time and time again from addressing you in this manner. I can’t do this anymore. It’s over. The time has come for me to set some boundaries and put myself first.
Please don’t contact me and don’t even bother asking Box of Chicken Broth or Oyster Cracker how to get in touch. My mind is made up. I’m trying to get over you as quickly as you get over the common cold and I can’t do that with you stringing me along with mixed signals. It’s confusing for me and isn’t fair. This is the way it has to be for both our sakes.
I just need some space to figure out who I am without you. I’ve spent so much of my life attending to your needs I don’t know who I am. It’s a little overwhelming, but I’m excited to embark on this journey of self-discovery.
I hope this time apart will allow you to reflect on your poor treatment of me and inspire you to change. Perhaps the next time you lay face down on the couch in a pool of your own snot and tears, you will appreciate me more and realize what a fool you were to let me get away.
Can of Soup