Police Encounter Quotes
Unfortunately, when trouble strikes, the long arm of the law is usually nearby to clothesline you, the "innocent" offender. Good luck with that.
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Jessica: Hey, I have a really fucking great idea! Can you handcuff me? Wait let's take a picture of you handcuffing me, and then I can email it to my mom because maybe she would think it was funny! Oh wait, nevermind, she knows I'm not 21.
Police Officer: I'm going to jail.
-Jessica, wasted after the officer bought her a drink at a bar
Police Officer: Sir, what's in the bottle next to you?
JM: Water.
Police Officer: Sir, this is wine!
JM: What?! That Jesus is at it again!
-On scapegoating the Lord (our savior from underage drinking tickets)
Heather: If I get arrested and go to jail...I won't remember anyway.
Jeff: Yes you will, they give you mug shots for memory purposes.
-On the real need for immediate photos
"And what will you be having young chap...?"
-Wes, to a cop busting a house party
"You guys don't have any of the cuffs with the fur on them, do you?"
-Pete, while being arrested for underage drinking in a bar
Police Officer: What do you think you're doing?
Pete: Trying to get my knife out of my pocket!
Police Officer: Oh yeah?
Pete: My cell phone is ringing asshole, take the cuffs off so I can answer it!!
-While riding in a cop car after being arrested
Police Officer: Have you had anything to drink son?
Nick: Yeah about three.
Police Officer: Three 12 ounces?
Nick: Three FOOUURDDIES!
-After getting drunk and hitting 13 mailboxes
Bill: Hey man, did I get arrested last night?
Prison Guard: Uh, yeah, you're in jail.
-After waking up in the county drunk tank
Police officer: Excuse me sir.
Joe: Yess occifer?
Police officer: Sir have you been drinking this evening?
Joe: Why yes I have.
Police officer: Please step out of the car sir.
Joe: Why? Don't you believe me?
-On eagerness to displease
Police Officer: Is all this beer for you two guys?
Mike: Yeah, I hate to break it to you officer but we can drink a lot of beer.
Joe: What I think he is trying to say is that we take the cake and shit.
-While waiting for a ride
Morgan: Do you know where Jim is? I think I just saw him get pulled over by two cop cars on Randall.
Sam: Was he sitting on a couch in the back of a red truck?
Morgan: Yeah.
Sam: That was him.
-On backseat drivers
Cory: Who the hell tracked all this mud into my kitchen?!
Police officer: Is this your house son?
Cory: Get the fuck outta my kitchen with your boots on!
Police officer: 'Cause this is a 550 dollar fine you know...
Cory: Look at this mess, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
-On official party fouls
"Officer, are you aware that your tail light is out?"
-Steven, to a cop right before getting a DUI
Police Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Tracy: Umm... 'cause I didn't slow down fast enough?
-On honesty as the second best policy





