Police Encounter Quotes

Police Officer: What year were you born in ma'am?
Natalie: '05.
Police Officer: I highly doubt that you were born in 2005.
Natalie: '06?
-Natalie, blacked out in front of a cop one weekend (correct answer: 1987)

Ryan: That was a cop.
Kym: Maybe it was just a car with one of those light bars on top.
Ryan: Let's not get into philosophy, Kym, that was a cop.
-On a "ride"

Bill: So I heard some police chase ended in gunfire today.
Walter: Is that a city in Wisconsin we haven't visited yet? Who names these places?
Bill: Not really big guy, more of a tragedy. Nice try though.
-Someone should probably move back to Chicago

Police Officer: What the fuck is that?
Mike: A crosswalk.
Police Officer: And where are you?
Mike: Middle of the street.
Police Officer: Where at?
Mike: I'm assuming you're looking for the answer "not at the crosswalk," but instead, I'm going to go with "Edmonton."
-How to talk your way into a ticket instead of getting a warning

Janeane: We had to flee from the popos.
Dave: How fast of a getaway was required?
Janeane: So much that Brot got away.
Dave: So it was a slow fleeing.
-Discussing a portly friend's escape from the police on the 4th of July

Police Officer: Everyone go back inside the house unless you live here! What are you pointing at son?
Ben: I don't know officer, follow my finger and see for yourself. That's why they call it pointing!
-On domestic pointing

C: It's not our pot, I swear.
Police Officer: I can smell it.
C: Maybe someone else was smoking it. It's just that ode du pot.
Officer: (To the rest of the group) If she ever speaks to an authority figure again, I'm arresting her.
-Hey, it was worth a shot

Robyn: I'm driving 70 on Highway 280!
Meagan: Well, don't get pulled over, because we're drunk!
Robyn: NO! It's okay I have Triple A insurance!
-On inadequate coverage