The Facebook of Sex

Sexbook is here to help you learn what your girl likes about sex.

As I searched for church groups on the Internet, I accidentally found myself at an adult pornographic website. Along the top and side of the page I saw ads for "Sex Facebook" and "Facebook of Sex." So I thought, "What a horribly awesome idea!"

Facebook of Sex banner ad
Sign up for Sexbook to start viewing photos and profiles.

If Sexbook actually existed, I don't know if I'd join or not. I've already been sexually taken advantage of by plenty of the women who are my regular Facebook friends. I thought it would be funny to count all my friends that I've seen naked, then I remembered I had a streaking streak in university, and I've seen a lot of my dude friends naked.

Does she shave or at least trim? Is she one of those "I fuck with my bra on" girls?I mean, I know most girls I enjoy orgasms with aren't virgins. And I know many of my friends have inadvertently banged the same chicks. Hell, one of my old bosses and I just found out we hooked up with three of the same girls—and none of them were particularly loose in the morals department. Okay, two of them were very loose, and the other one was our other friend's girlfriend. But what-fucking-ever.

Back to Sexbook.

Signup for the Facebook of SexIf I did join, I'd be a lot more interested in checking out people's photos and videos. If they were hot chicks I'd consider joining their groups—and by groups I mean hot girl + hot girl + hot girl + kc orgies. Plus, status updates would be crucial, because then you would figure out how many STDs that blonde chick I nicknamed "Platinum Pro" had.

I mean, who doesn't already check the Facebook (or MySpace if you're an old geezer) page of your new girlfriend, boyfriend, fuck buddy or—most importantly—the girl you want to be your new fuck buddy?

You find out some important information. The minute I see some Michael Moore or Bill O'Reilly quotes on a girl's page, I know they're mostly retarded, and reserve them for nights I want to get drunk, not think, and still get laid. Because stupid girls generally have more sex than smart girls.



Signup for the real Sexbook here »



Also, when you check out your mate's page, you can prepare yourself for disasters—such as movie time. When I know the ins and outs of my beau, and she says, "Let's rent a video," and I end up gritting my teeth in Blockbuster and she says, "Let's look for princess movies," I always know to say, "You've already seen the stupid-ass Disney movies. Let's find 'Hip Hop Ninjas Kill Werewolves in Party Town.'" And then I win, because I have all the black ops intel from Facebook.

Sexbook website screenshotNow, with the Facebook of Sex, you could figure out your sexual partner's favorite positions. Not that I really care, because I like all of them except for the complicated shit. Does she hate giving blowjobs? How many painful breakups could have been prevented if you knew that before you started macking on some uppity skank?

As I've sort of stated, I don't really give a shit about a girl's sexual history. As long as she hasn't worked as an "athletic trainer" for the Dallas Cowboys or something, I just don't want to know. But I do want to know if she's a talker. I don't care if she tells her friends about our sexy times (there's the dirty talking girls, who say, "Oh my God you fuck me so fucking awesomely"), but there are a lot of girls who just can't fucking shut up, even when you're fucking them. Guys, you know what I'm talking about. You're pumping away and instead of hearing your friends congratulating you in the background, your auditory system is overloaded with, "And then Becky said to Steph, 'But I wanted to buy the soooo-cute yellow ducky shirt.' Oh, can you spank my ass a few times. Do you like my hair like this, or should I stick it up. Speaking of stick up, can you stuff a finger or two in my butthole? I like that. I also like chocolate. Just kidding. I love chocolate. I love it almost as much as I like sex. I like sex, but chocolate is just so...chocolatey!"

You could also check on somebody's Sexbook wall. What type of messages are up there? She could be writing on people's walls, "That's the most anal I've ever done." This could be a deal breaker... or maker for some of us. Or she could be sending you Sexbook emails like, "2day I just want u to eat BBQ ribs and get blowjobs while watching Buffy. And then it's hot tub massage time for u." With those types of messages, I'd be checking my account ten times a day. Not that I don't do that already with regular old Facebook of Sex, but now I'd actually pay attention to what my girl says.

There's so much good Sexbook could do for my sex life—and yours too I guess. Does she shave or at least trim? Is she one of those "I fuck with my bra on" girls? Does she come to cum and stay or does she leave? Are we talking about pancake-sized nips or chocolate chipples? Does she believe in sex for procreation or recreation? Is she going to encourage me to set up threesomes, or is she going to get really offended by it? Same with getting boob upgrades? These are the things I need to know.

And that's why Sexbook could never exist.

Your only options now? Signup for the REAL Facebook of Sex here. Or write a friendly letter to Mark Zuckerberg.

See also:


Gavin Pitt's picture

You Straight guys have fuck buddies? Oh wait, you mean *female* ones... Dang, there was a glimmer of hope for my more debauched fantasies there momentarily...

just add me from facebook merwyn cruz my cell number is 4168221681 thanks

,.hahah

If you look up Fbookofsex theres a pretty girl that talks about the Facebook of sex..just not sure what she says LOL

hi my self rohit.i want to fuck you and suck you to.

Oooooooohhh yeah .........

HI,IM SASI CAN V SEX

gay

i want to do sex

John Gillespie's picture

Every time I see an ad for sexbook, I cringe. I like the fact that there is probably a "how many dicks have been inside me" category, but then again there is no way she is updating that profile everyday. I'm not meeting the girl who says she likes a little bit of kinky stuff, but that was 6 months ago and now she is into ripping your nipples of during orgasm.

Powderhound's picture

Great way to finish the column.

dude so gay to comment something like thatt why dont you go play in traffic and sip on some bleach biyyaattcchh!!!

why dont you just make it fuck a man already cuz we all know that you just act like a douche bag because youve never had a dick in you and you want it so bad.
so either go take it up the ass like you fantisize about all night long while you try to keep it up when fucking that aids infested cow that you call a girlfriend and stop harrasing people that you cant get into bed with you, or you can eat shit and die.
twat.

ello girl pla wt me

gavin pitt you are the gayest fag ever what nights do you perform?

Gavin Pitt's picture

The Gayest Fag ever? Well, I try my best, but I could never compete for that title with our Queen, Her Highness Zac Efron...

what up sexy girls

Duh... Don't you guys think that the guy in the pic is so cut and smoking hot? Damn it, I wish that I'm the one who's holding his dick and keep licking it all day long! Sorry since posted something horny >.<... I adore that guy though I ain't looking bad too. Ahha XD

I personally don't approve of this website.... It is just a way for older men to seduce younger females. It shows that as men y'all don't have any respect for us females. It shows that y'all don't really love us. You can say it but if you are in a hurry to have sex then it shows that you don't mean it. I'm not saying that this is all mens but in statics it shows that mens are very sexual and is about sex. As mens y'all think about sex more than us girls. Y'all show it by trying to hit on us. Y'all do it because y'all know where each base is. First base: Meet a girl and hit on her, being fresh. Second base: Touching on her body. Third base: Kissing, and Fourth base: sex.... Once y'all hit those bases you leave us females either pregnant or dead or with aids.... After we get boring for y'all then that's when you leave and find somebody else. I'm not saying that all mens do this. Some men prove to us that they really love us females when they stay with us through any kind of situation whether it's thin or thick. My point is this website is very dangerous for anybody. You can and will find yourself in a bunch of trouble. So my advice to you is to stay in school ladies and then when you're grown and you feel like you are ready to do this, by all means go head. If you do it now and you know that you aren't ready and you find yourself in a bad situation, all i can say is that I told you so. Don't ever let a man try to play with your emotions so that they can get into your pants. I really do hope that the ladies make the right choice.

Not all chicks are boring uptight prudes like you. Some girls love being screwed by a dude and not having to worry about him the next day. This chick is fat and probably never gets laid.

Hahaha yep

Ha Ha true. Funny because I thought the same thing . And I think of it this way, if you wanna keep your man be a freak, they will love you twice as much.

YOUR NAME IS NICOLETTA... shut the fuck up you lost all talking rights... ive never wanted to fuck a girl named nicoletta anyways.. sounds like s german tranny

Dude, fail, it is not even an English name, chances are she isn't even from an English speaking country. Besides, do you realise you've signed yourself as TheOtherGuy... Sounds like a hobo leprechaun.

ITS NOT MENS!!!!!!!!! FUUUUCCCCKKKK me your retarted. and y'all??

ps. there is no fourth base you stuck up cum guzzler, its called home plate

You go feminazi!!Put men in their place!!I hate men too,never wanting to date me because I look like a guy,or have sex with me when they see my giant penis,surrounded by what's supposed to be a vagina,and my flat chest and hairy pubes.Men make me fucking sick!!

i want to fuck you

When, where,and how hard

Typical over thinking skank You obviously missed the point of the post. Which is, "Fucking". No one said anything about any emotional context. As men, we all does have some respect for womens whos gots respect for themselves.
However. Weez do need to get our rocks off without having to buys ya'lls a fucking ring everytime.

Ok here is the deal girl. If you don't want to fuck a guy. Don't. But please don't discourage your slutty friends from fucking with NSA.

As far as the fuckbook website being for old geezers to seduce younger chicks? Well, hell yeah, what's wrong with that? (18 or over of course, but then, you have to be 18 to use the site...uh, sure sure.)

Bottom line. Fucking and sucking does not always need to be about a relationship. Why can't it just be about fucking and sucking? Nuff said.

Some advert just took me away and showed me a car, got worried i'd have forgotten what i was supposed to be writing about. Awesome how i can see what i'm replying to. This obviously helps (any weed smoking student )(rephrase:) most students.

Anyhow, most people are going to disagree with this Nicollette, whatever her name is, chick. I mean, most the guys here are probably within a minute either way of typing facebook of sex into google. I, for one, just came from google thinking this guy had tried it and he was going to tell me how great it was. Your so vastly outnumbered here. This page itself is almost entirely dedicated to human beings wanting to do what, we are in reality, supposed to do.

Sex and the need for it is biologically hardwired into a guys brain, its a fact. Women are biologically tuned to turn guys on.

The point I'm trying to make is this:

You fought for equality as a gender and you more or less have it! STOP!! Stop trying to get more rights by guilt tripping men during guy talk! Guy talk is the most sacred of banter to most heterosexual and some homosexual guys. Join the human race in the 21st century where no-one gives a fuck! Men still fall in love, another thing our brains are hardwired to do! Times are changed, there is no longer a taboo on sex, pregnancy without marriage or even love. Sex comes first, love....if it does come.....might only come to the man! That's the risk we take!

So get a grip of yourself, chill out, smoke some drugs, get laid and celebrate life. Your fight for equal rights is over, you won. Stop being a nazi all up in here trying to spoil our fun!

Im not sure if any of that made sense to anyone, if it doesn't then that's my bad.

Peace x

thats right

salut la belle je souhaite une bonne annee

You say all this and ur probably right a little bit but tha harshness would suggest u just went thru this experience urself which is kinda ironic for u to try and put down somethin u most likely fell for urself dont u think?

When you want to fuck, you want to fuck. (With or without) Period. If you were manipulated, as they say, don't blame the player, blame the game (or blame yourself for lacking wisdom). If a woman is old enough to go to those website but dumb enough to have unprotected sex, it was too late from the very beginning.

Zeau_87's picture

no girls her? damn

im the one

Nicoletta,

I am an older man who knows younger women who are very happy and satisfied they found out what older men have to offer. So what if older guys "seduce" younger women through a self-promoting sex site where young women and older guys post their availability and exploits? In fact, sex with an older guy can be excellent because his ego gets such a hit from a younger woman's sexual interest in him which causes him to want to totally please the woman. As well, as a guy ages, it becomes more difficult for him to orgasm and, with pills like Cialis and Viagra, he can get a rod just as potent as a super horny teenager. He also is more likely to enjoy extended foreplay than a younger man and will also provide "perks" that most young men can't or won't.

im very pissed with these facebook of sex or sexbook! facebook established a good name in the internet and someone will just ruin these name by making these site! and for who created these site, pls don't put advertisements of your site in other known sites where kids like me can access it easily! your creating sins for innocent children!

... wow... children are fairly smart these days... using a large vocabulary and a sense of misplaced morals, along with a sense of superiority... i believe that is one of the reasons older men go for them now... or it's an adult posing, like most do...

Shut the fuck up. if u think that ur never going to have a thought about sex then u r dead wrong. The only reason u probably posted this was to get attention and since ur under age u shouldnt even have clicked on an advertisment that says "Facebook of sex" dumbass kid

Frankly, I think Nicoletta's comment is the funniest damn thing on this page. Y'all mens must be pretty thick not to see past this accent!

excuse me, but this has been the webs premier adult facebook alternative for years now, over 2 million users! it's the best adult social networking site by far.

hey wazz up

i am missing the paragraph on 'poking'...
...that totally gets a different taste on a facebook of sex!

you are about to poke sandra! :)

You're a dipshit and your article told us nothing about the website "Facebook of Sex" and the preview link is a advertisement? You make Case in Point suck. I hope your family gets killed in a car wreck.

It's actually "Points in Case", you fucking retard. I hope your family gets puree'd by a flaming 747 jet engine.

On here it explains the different sites that claim to be the 'Facebook of Sex' and tells you what that's all about. Usually they're just dating sites but you can read more there!

Looks like fbookofsex explains this whole Facebook of Sex pretty well too!

ok im pretty sure that if someone is on this facebook of sex, they like sex (to say the least), and wouldnt really care about being "used" , otherwise, i mean if they were expecting to find a relationship there that would be pretty uncommon and should be smart enough to realize that. and if you're stupid enough to get "used" by someone then that's pretty much your own fault. if you're so concerned about being used than dont create an account and let others do what they want to do, ..or become a nun.

Im just all about making a woman squirt lol

So Jessica yu want to be usedddd lol jk but yu wanna chat

je suis nouvo

puxa io solo kiero puro sexo kiero reventar mi berga a puro mete y saca xP io kiero conocer a una xika mamona i q kiera sexo como io solo sexo xD

salu sava je cherch fi pou le sex

Facebook y Sexo gratis en una sola web

nashpa;)

eimai kala

This site is nothing the people how's talking says nothing intersting you must chershing other thing to do because you're nothing i dont want answer because i think it not importante and the man who's creat this site i said fuck your haind

Casey Freeman's picture

Yup. Exactly what he said.

Mike Lamb's picture

Scored a lot of phone numbers on this one. You may have enough to start up your own fake sex site. Those guys seemed friendly. And very enthusiastic.

And now I'd like to read you some haikus about my cock...

im listening!!!

I was a member of Facebook of Sex but I found most of the profiles were fake. i'm now a member.

There are real people who are really looking for sex, and best of all its free for platinum membership

ja sam faker

sex

fuckk mee!!

i will fuck u if u let me 2..we`ll have a good sex..mine is xl size..

Mike Lamb's picture

My love for you is like a truck, BERSERKER!
Would you like to make big fuck, BERSERKER!

slt moi c est andre j aimerai etre acteur porno je suis precisement en cote d ivoire je reve de devenir acteur porno depuis mon bas age je vous remerci mon msn est mon numero est +225 46860274 +225 49018270.bye thanks

Andre, vous doivez reconsidérer cette choix. Quand on est un acteur pornographique, vous étes plus susceptible à utiliser drogues - cannabis n'est pas un drogue "puissant", mais cocaïne, heroïn, et les autres narcotiques peuvent romprer votre vie. Deviens un meilleure personne via l'ecole ou un travaille. J'suis desoleé pour mon français, j'suis Americaine. Bonne chance en votre futur!

ge sui love toi et gaime le sxe

I LOVE PENIS

So do I MUUUUUUUUuhaaaaa

I'm 23 y of age m single if u can find a serius relationship lady 4 me i luv 2 be on facebook of sex thanks pls reply me u no my email

hhhhey

fuck you all

fuck good

i need a girl for sex

looking for someone in kathmandu for sex

hello, I am man from Kathmandu, want secret sex in day time only. my id is rasub@yours.com send me your interest here also. hotneed1 yewho cm

fuck you , i am housewife here need secret and safe sex friendship.

he send me mail for sex in Kathmandu I like day time sex here. my id is hotneed1@yahoo.com

im looking for a female for nsa sex for 1on1 from the ages of 29 to 55, i like small breast but if they are big thats ok, im 49

parthy of sex and full ok

i like this

Mike Lamb's picture

I have a Toyota. It's kinda shitty looking but it gets decent mileage. Wait, cars don't talk! Who is this?

I guess most of the people, which wrote comments are virgins in real life.
I have 2 Questions:
Has anyone ever had sex with a member of this site(without paying) ?
Do really think a serious girl would risk her life(aids, baby,...) in the internet with some guys?

Think about it.
Probably its just for phising and advertisment.

hi i love this page of facebook of sex, i am a single guy can you find me a nice girl or lady to start a serious relationship i can be contacted at 1876 793 7499, i live in jamaica thanks!

Try this Jamica... drop your pants, clench your fist, and fuck the snot out of yourself! Cauz thats the only way your sorry ass is gunna get any.. ha ha bitch!

I FUCK YOU.PLEASE YOU COME MY HOME.

je suis bezeur de 18 au 30

porque ustedes son putas, prostituta mañosa cunchatumare
no deben hacer eso putas.

kevin-sao's picture

soy ideal para el mundo , no perfecto pero indispensable..

LOL

what is about sex??

someone please fuck me!!juz call me...0177990492,please!!i need a big dick

faizal's picture

haiiii
i redy sex for u

I rilly wanna fuck u .how can we meet?

im from johor bahru,malaysia
please call me...
please!!!

i kota bharu kelantan

my gusta de sex

como entro??

hamza

no comment

wht no comment ha

any body girls want to fuck u in india. pls, contact me. +91 9030715343

Hi , I am ravina I leave rental room with my sister i am searchng a guy for sex plz cal me +918005408710
+919730962855 im waiting...

Darling your voice is so sweet bt today why have You done Switch of mode your cell

Mike Lamb's picture

GIVE ME BACK MY KIDNEY, YOU BITCH!!!

ROFLOL

suck my dick first

hola busco amiga o algo mas k eso

Hello, I am mishkat jahan 25 Female Frm India , I like to Be new Freinds my m.n. Is +918874159621

hello I am man from Kathmandu, Nepal. want to friendship with you. my id is hotneed1@yahoo.com send me mail here.

i wanna see sex facebook

Come to Zimbabwe, we young gals like to get fucked hard, we love sexercises!!

Wer u at? maybe we can huk up n fuck harare only 4 me . If u up 4 it lk 4 me . Im a 22 yr old black male

hey , i aint doing anything with myself gals...

Sex is good, it make's a kind of a responsible guy is u have it. But it all depend on the partner u doing that with.
So does long Dick really matter in sex?

It does n't matter so long as both of you are satisfied with what you have done

It does n't matter so long as both of you are satisfied with what you have done

hello

Hello how are you tonight? Male or Female? I prefer women not interested at all in men at all

Mike Lamb's picture

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Pointsincase, the Trollbook of Sex. Would you like to meet creepy singles that love to fuck but don't get jokes? Are you tired of getting cock-blocked by comedy writers that lead you to porn but don't offer you a handjob? Well you've come to the wrong place! But you're here anyway, so fuck it! Say something dumb, it's precious.

Stupid cats.

yu got mai babi..

U fukin Cunt.

transgender confused queer!

you should read this Facebook Sex Guide, since facebook is the sexbook ;)

who is there

hi,
My name is Numan.
and my cell no. is 03334100927.
plz contacy me.

agar koi bi girl mujh se sex karna chahti hai to mere cell per call kro.
03334100927.
than:X.
plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

contact wid me.

The best site for meetings and sex cam girls Italian and this is sure to have one million personal ads of people looking for Italian and casual sex also has a flash video chat chat with people from all over the world with 3 thousand people always online and if that's not there are always bastassse 1500 camgirls from around the world in which they live cam free preview I go there for two years I am fine!

Lukn 4 a hot gyal 2 hook up with

It's spooky how celevr some ppl are. Thanks!

Mike Lamb's picture

helo sxy ppl i liv n japan nd i distroy bildings wth my huuuuuuge cok plz call me 5654476346573653653634 only 5 dolars U.S. a min i will put it n ur but.

Oh yeah, I'll be rolling in tail any minute now.

yo yo

Any man/women

huhuhuuhuh

faizal's picture

i more sex plesssss call meee....
i veryy sick a long

hahahahahahahaahahaha sooooo funny Mike :D
destroying buildings lol you the cockzilla? :P your comments are awesome dude!

looking for sexy chick

rollinstone100's picture

Dyer Arkansas come get fucked no homo

This blog is so funny lmao, 'Dyer Arkansas come get fucked no homo' such jokes, I think i will bookmark and check back later for more laughs ha

you all suckers here!! this is just your illusions morons!.....whatta pissed site!.....

I'm frm la liveing in the bronx now want a fine lady to fuck my brains oouutt

wait is sex

ana fouad mn casa obari nhwi chi dria ila momkin tji lcasa

if any girl reads this well im looking for some sex n im 19 so please contact me a my facebook the_new_kid0@hotmail.com y leave me a msj telling me that ur responding to this msj.......

Hey ne galzzz sexx wid meh....plz cal meh 2 dissss no...7399974421....i hv guddd sexxxx......

hiiiiiiiiiii,
i'm ready for s3x

09308498177 u can get my #!

if there is any one want to with me about any thing please just call at my cell phone:+963956694991

chaiy's picture

who online now ?

thank you I am very happy

any pakistani girl contect me janaman123456@yahoo.com i am wating for sex

I am Shankar age 30 Years If any female want enjoy in sex please call me 7702447519. In Hyderabad .my id is chaitanyam77@gmail.com

Je suis un jeune homme de 33 ans d'Algérie
J'aime le sexe avec les femmes les femmes âgées entre 40 et 50 ans
Est-il lié au tuteur sur le téléphone 00213771355009
Ou sur Skype samirstaifi99

i am a french guy in usa and im looking for new experience with shemale..if anybody can help me...im realy really interesed by that...leave me a message here.

What a crap! FBofSex = Adultfriendfinder. Exact the same! Which means: as a free member you can hardly do anything... I really thought it would be like FB but then with sexual content.

touching myself now.

For DREAM's to came true.........
ring 0044-7799-747258....
and your dream will came true.........

I AM 24 YRS OLD PSE CONTAC ME ANY LADY FOR SEX ENJOY

koff33k1d's picture

sexbook, fuckbook, facefuck. I am sure they are all out there somewhere. The thing is would you really want to join one of these? these people would be the biggest sluts and whores on the planet. You join thinking well i might find someone special.. yeah the same person that has found lots of someone specials in the past few nights. It's like the humor of reading craigslist personals and missed connections, you know its the same 4 posters changing the title so no one realizes how slutty they really are. I am not so sure i want to know all the details.
The Profile reads. I am a virgin. Followed by recent sexcapades. I have really only been with one guy, i have never had sex, does oral count? Does blowing the entire football team after a winning game, and the basketball team, and the band geeks, and so on and so forth.

Profile 2 gives you a menu to chose from:
I am looking for mr right now. well and mr right after right now.
Tonights special:
Crabs
Syph
Herpes
The list goes on and on make your choice

i m girl 35 yrs old looking for indian man for sex.anybody there...............i am from penang malaysia

im indian man ready to fuck

hi, if you have any plan to visit Kathmandu, Nepal. then don't forget to meet me, i want secret and safe sex with you.

Hi i am a male 38 frm Penang. looking for good sex. pls do contact me at briansiva33@hotmail.com

Internet,cellphones,etc. --- it's either a gift or a curse, it's how u use it.
Life is easier with 'em but is simpler without 'em
That's just an opinion but the fact is
We all get desperate sometimes
Make yourself busy and try not
to let sex control your Life-
don't put it to waste you
have to let go and let
God.

There are many things that disturbs us in this world
consuming our time, yet all of them are useless.

I need hot girl in Tripoli-libya plzz call 00218922699059

send me

i m girl 21 yrs from indonesia......... add me and ready to fuck.......!!!!!!!!!!!!

hi

hi diy@ ur sell no?

gimme ur cell num or send me an email on rehan.javaid@live.com
i can call u where i m or i can come where u r...??
send me the other details of your offers.....and ur demand also...??

hello I am man from Kathmandu, Nepal. want secret and safe sex friendship with you. any young/ mature female interested here in kathmandu then send me mail. my id is hotneed1@yahoo.com

I LOVE FRIEND

hi i m pooja call me at 09910137316

hai pooja contact me in my id nirmalraja5001@gmail.com

pooja ji very difficult to call you from Kathmandu, Nepal.

Uuuuummmm I man 32 I like sex mail jhay.sallu@yahoo.co.id Indonesia