How You’ll Defer the Draft Based on Your Star Sign
Aries: You’re no conformist! You’ve accepted that and so should the US government. They haven’t though, so you’ll fake your own death.
Tag: Witchcraft
Mindfulness Tips for Surviving Your Friend’s Harry Potter-Themed Improv Set
Practice Compassion: Driving to the show, it’s easy to ruminate on every mistake that led to watching improv on Sunday at 3 PM. Forgive yourself.
The Thing about High School Girls Is That They Stay the Same Age, And So Do I Ever Since I Drank from That Magic Well
Some may see the age gap as a little weird, but it's not nearly as weird as if I looked my real age, because then I would be a decaying skeleton.
Proof My Boyfriend and I Have Probably Turned into Vampires
I enjoy exercising now, since I can levitate over the treadmill while watching Hulu on my phone. If my BF asks, I tell him it’s supernatural cardio.
Your Guide to Autumn Instagram Captions
“I pledge fealty to you, my Pumpkin Dad” is another great example of a gourd-geous caption being used by Fall fanatics everywhere.
Just Because We Don’t Agree on Everything Doesn’t Mean I, Harry Potter, Can’t Still Be Friends with Lord Voldemort
And believe me, I get it. I, of all people, know that Lord Voldemort’s beliefs go against pretty much everything I stand for.
Harry Potter’s Grief Letter to Dumbledore
I cannot forgive you for making me spend what would have been my final year at Hogwarts shitting in the woods.
The Grimm Institute’s Back-to-School Checklist for Princesses and Maidens
Running Shoes (1 pair): For use during the “Escape from Evil Stepmothers, Youth-Fixated Witches, and Tyrannical Kings” PE section. Adidas preferred.
Qualities I Require in a Lunch Box for My Child
Self-cleaning. Enchanted with spell that bewitches child into consuming lunch regardless of fiber content. Doubles as USCG-approved flotation device.
Why Doesn’t My Roommate Understand That a Witch Put a Spell on Me and Now I’m Not Allowed to Wash the Dishes
She raised a wand and twirled it in the air. She chanted, “Dawn and Palmolive, Scotchbrite and Ocelo, you’re not allowed to do the dishes no more-lo.”
10 Steps to Having the Perfect Conference Call
Reintroduce every person to ensure there are no people "ghosts" on the call. Remember that there will, however, be actual "ghosts" on the call.
Is Your Nest Malfunctioning or is Your Brentwood Mansion Haunted?
Do your thoroughbred Tibetan Mastiffs refuse to walk past your Nest Detect Sensor™ into the the conservatory where your stepfather passed away?