Uber: For Speed Dating - Sit up front because "you get carsick." Ask the driver if they have any siblings. If they ask you back, you’re in.
I am a man. A normal man with normal needs. Do the whole "walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes" thing. There’s no elbow room here. No privacy.
Some of our most popular attractions from past festivals include Soylent breweries, meme-hacking spaces, and, by state law, a Ben & Jerry's.
#amactuallywritinggoodshit – This is a great hashtag to show other writers you’re not just writing, you’re writing better stuff than they are!
In Retrospect, Maybe It Was Kind of Obvious That Mitch McConnell’s Kink Was Being Torn Apart By an Angry Crowd
There were signs: Marco Rubio found Mitch had recently searched for “sexy outraged citizens tear male politician to shreds video.”
New Yorker cartoons: You love The New Yorker. You READ The New Yorker. But 9 times out of 10 you buy The New Yorker for those sweet, sweet cartoons.
"I don’t have any fancy degrees. I’ve never read Murakami. I’ve never read anything, actually. I can’t speak English and I’ve bitten people."
Instead of saying “Yes, would you be available on Friday?”, I accidentally replied, “You’re a disgusting pig, your entire existence is meaningless.”
When Allisyn awakens in his bedroom filled with Reservoir Dogs posters and empty Gatorade bottles, she’s charmed. Starring Gal Gadot and Seth Rogen.
Dear Joan, I looked up your name on LinkedIn---because that’s how much I care about this job. I seriously need you to hire me.
Scrolling through Twitter for the news. Driving a Tesla for the environment. Living with six roommates for the camaraderie.
Question 3. Do you understand the innate joke that lies in calling your supporters the Pete Fleet and are you willing and able to joke about it?