How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Really Your Boyfriend, Or a Stray Cat That Followed You in from Outside
Does he sleep between 16-20 hours a day? Does he curl up in a cute little ball in a perfect patch of sunlight to catch some ZZZs?
Does he sleep between 16-20 hours a day? Does he curl up in a cute little ball in a perfect patch of sunlight to catch some ZZZs?
Clients call at all hours night and day. / Spend 92% of day negotiating. / Know a lot of stuff but none of it seems to help when clients are crying.
Becoming macaroni and cheese, a lifeless foodstuff, after too many consecutive meals of macaroni and cheese. / Aneurysm upon seeing a boob on HBO.
Don’t hesitate. If you see an apartment you like, grab a demon’s pitchfork, stab it in your thigh, and sign in blood immediately.
By the end of the semester, you should be able to verbally sedate your significant others for an entire dinner conversation.
Wow. If you’ve photoshopped with me before, you know I like big ol’ tushies. And, there he is. That’s a big ol’ tush.
What is the correct spelling of the fermented cabbage that sometimes goes on hotdogs? Sauerkraut, Sourcrowt, Serrkreet, Soorkroot, or Kimchi?
In a corner with a martini covering 75% of my face, I can weave an intricate tapestry of all the backroom drama unfolding behind closed doors.
Don’t dwell on the minds you’ve violated in the past or plan to violate in the future. Focus on the minds you’re violating in the present.
Since you just ate at Taco Bell, you might be interested in knowing you are 8 minutes from home, which is where your toilet is. Traffic is clear.
Oh, is turkey a Thanksgiving item too? I guess I never really noticed, until now. Sure, maybe just go ahead and don’t make that one either.
A timeless piece of television, "Even Stevens" demonstrates the trials and tribulations of being “imperfect” in a seemingly perfect world.