Foolish Pleasure? Super Fuzz? Cave O'Wonders? No matter which way you look at it, you picked a winner.
Your next tweet will go viral, attracting the attention of your biggest celebrity crush and leading to a passionate affair. (1 in 40.3 billion)
It smells a little sweaty but it’s cheaper to rent and deal with mysterious odors than buy your own at full price.
Instructor Kate knows you won’t make it past two months on this bike, but she also knows you need her positive energy to have any chance at all.
They don't even have numbers on their uniforms. They just have plain, ill-fitting husky tees donated by the Knights of Columbus.
I Am an Alien Colonizer of the Planet Formerly Known as Earth, and I Assure You the Sports Team We Named After You Isn’t Racist
We were trying to get to Uranus, and had mistaken your planet for our intended destination. So we started calling you bipeds "Uranuses."
Your dating game plan is dogshit. I haven’t seen an operation this shit-tier since my first job at Southwestern Louisiana A&M Poly Tech State.
Imagine the home-field advantage for the SF Identity Thieves as their mascot "Guccifer 7.0" announces credit card info of the opposing players.
Googly-eyed octopus behind catcher’s mound: Campaign manager for a commemorative Beanie Baby with a nascent political streak.
The phone is for calling the bullpen, not pranking the loser ump by telling him his wife is in labor.
Sure, our football team has been subpar ever since Brent Bryerson graduated three years ago, but that isn't a concern.
I’m here to tell you that you’re totally right about today not being the right day for a run. You really don’t want any part of this, man.