Bruce Jenner’s Sixth Grade Essay Reveals Life Goals
A woman is who I am. It's a basic instinct. It’s all I've ever wanted. Not the Gold Medal. That was a digression. Womanhood is my favorite neighborhood.
Tag: Sports
I’ll (Probably) Never Be a Professional Wrestler
When I was 14, I WAS a wrestling superstar. I was “Blade” in my own wrestling federation, FWC. But I'm 27 now, and let's face it, I'll probably never wear a gold belt.
There is Life After Golf, Tiger Woods
Everybody breaks down eventually, Tiger. Welcome to life as most of us know it: strugglers, not great at what we do, practicers but not masters.
Calling All Game Changers
Game changing is the in-vogue phrase to use to sound "with it," to describe something that, whether a game changer or not, gets labeled a game changer.
The Religious Dream Team Starting Lineup
Like the 1992 Men's Olympic Basketball Team, if we take the best parts of every religion to form one "Dream Team Religion," I'd actually consider being a part of that.
SEC Football: The Most Disconcerting But True Stereotypes of All 14 Schools
<p>Not all stereotypes of the South are necessarily true. We're not all overweight and stupid, and believe it or not, we don't all vote against our own self-interest. It might even come as surprise that the majority of Southerners have all of their teeth. But we do all have racist grandparents and an unhealthy obsession with college football.</p>
My Introduction to YMCA Summer Camp and Adult Penises
These were the first adult penises I'd ever seen, and as an 8-year-old, it scared me enough to make me avoid changing in locker rooms for the rest of my life.
Post-Game Press Conference for Game 1 of the Offensive Team Name Basketball Association Championship
The Cleveland Noble Savages defeated the Jackson City Quadroons 116-110 in Game 1 of the OTNBA Championship. Here is the post-game conference transcript.
18 Reasons to Believe Peyton Manning is Actually a Cyborg
Tony Dungy wants to take over the world for religious purposes; Peyton Manning wants to take over the world for world domination purposes.
Why You Have a Hard-On for Fantasy Football
The combination of instant gratification and illusion of power is what makes Fantasy Football the cyber-Viagra that it is. You are the coach, the GM, and the cheerleader.
No Kids, We’re Not Going to Round Table Pizza After the Game
The Padres have developed a bit of a reputation as the "loser squad," and I wish I could say it's not deserved, but you boys are absolutely pathetic at baseball.
Why You’re a Terrible Person for Complaining About New NFL Safety Rules
Whiny, self-involved fans complain that new NFL rule changes make the game "not as fun anymore." Yeah, and we all used to LOVE smoking on airplanes too.