A Definitive List of Fruits Who Are Trying to Steal My Boyfriend
A Pair of Cantaloupes: Honestly I wasn’t going to say anything because it’s 2020, but come the fuck on cantaloupe.
A Pair of Cantaloupes: Honestly I wasn’t going to say anything because it’s 2020, but come the fuck on cantaloupe.
You have such nice legs. I’m glad you’re finally wearing something that shows them off. / You didn’t even notice my new slacks. Do you like them?
Weak and easily preyed upon, the Sickly Spotted Woody Pecker has evolved to compensate for its innate physical disadvantages.
No, you can’t go get a few toys. Last time you left them lying around and I had to clean them up. / Here, can I just… let me help you.
Derek Kan - Can make a train in the bedroom run on time. / Anthony Fauci - This silver fox has a lot of time now that Grey’s Anatomy isn’t filming.
4. I was obsessed with it during puberty but more or less have it figured it out now. 7. I only feel comfortable with certain people seeing it.
Just yesterday, Sabrina summoned me. “Jesus!” she exclaimed. It sounded important so I flew over, only to find her reading the news on her phone.
I like sex so much, I’ll have it anywhere: a king-sized bed, a queen-sized bed, I’ll even sex on a twin as long as I’m getting punished with sex.
I’m interested in analyzing the importance of “opening up” via “crying” and how this plays into our fantasies of ideal womanhood.
You should know that the only reason I’m smiling right now is because that’s all you’ve taught me to do.
Note my proper use of “whom.” “Whom” is also my safe word.
All the kisses started to look the same, and I was kind of bored by the time it was my turn. Could each kiss include progressively more tongue? (Oswald)