Satire | Page 92 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

I’ve had to take about 6,482 photos of myself every day. I have maxed out 14 used iPhone storage capacities and countless SD cards.

I was wary of Jamie moving into our base, because I gathered credible olfactory intelligence that they associate with cats.

Nice place. Lovely sheets. Good shampoo. Someone kissed me in the middle of the night.

As a point of procedure, motions for new toys normally require a one-week notice period. See Maddy v. Mom (Safeway, 2021).

Would you like your receipt via text, email, or Gordian Knot full of surveys and "Extrabucks" offers you can’t throw away fast enough?

We want to extend our deepest gratitude to you for believing in our potato chips. Those other people who didn’t buy our chips can go right to hell.

Marie__LocalHairgirl9: A huge part of my childhood. I skinny dipped in the reactor pool as a teen and since then I’ve had a 60 foot vertical leap.

'Tis a noble tradition, even though I could just as easily say all this to that carrier pigeon X, formerly known as Twitter.

Commercialize your downtime! Not needing to sleep is a HUGE advantage for you.

Here at CamelX our motto has always been: "No one can believe stuff—unless you say it first.”

You will now need to submit a request through a new app called “Ayyy” where you can send Lorenzo an “Oooo” request which will generate a ticket.

"Be hip to the fact that your mains won’t be served at the same time. Of course, they could be, but they won’t be."